Overload

Grief

Category: Events

Type

Involuntary

Introduction and description

Grief is a response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. “ While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to loss”.

Both grief and other sorts of emotional trauma don’t still the senses, they flood the senses.  And emotional pain, or any other extremely high levels of emotion can produce spiritual experiences. Few people who have not been through times of grief can imagine what it is like to experience this emotion.

The emotion is overwhelming.  It blocks any form of rational action, it results in uncontrollable crying, and physical pain – the heart does break.  You can stand there and a great silent cry of anguish comes from every part of your being.

People will try to be sympathetic, doctors will say you are ‘depressed’ – no you are not depressed in fact, depression involves a sort of languor a ‘not caring’.  No, this feeling is intense, you ‘care’ more than anything else that can be said of you, you ‘care’ so much that nothing else can get through.

A scream of emotional pain.

Background

Grief of this intensity may be caused by any number of events from the death of  a loved one – partner, child, dog or pet, to  the effects of some traumatic event in which you experienced loss.  Losing a partner, by them leaving you for someone else, is grief coupled with humiliation a real attack to the ego.

How it works

It may be helpful to have the Model of the Mind open and to have read How spiritual experience works

Any form of sensory stimulus – the clothes of the lost one, photographs, smells, music and various noises, places, tastes even the touch of things can trigger the Memory, and the memory produces memories, and the Subconscious remembers what it has lost.  

And what it has lost is happiness and pleasure and joy – so it cries out.  It is the child in us that cries – the Subconscious child.  And the intensity of Emotion blots everything else out – absolutely everything – Reason, logic, Desires and Objectives, Obligations and Opportunities.   Nothing is left except the vast sea of emotional PAIN PAIN PAIN, so intense you think it will kill you.

And the Will is overwhelmed.  It can do nothing against such an onslaught, it has nothing in its armoury to help – no learnt function can match this barrage of anguish.

 So it gives in and the Composer takes over. 

Occasionally the Composer will provide a sense of inexplicable peace amid the feelings of pain. So strange this still moment.  So quiet – a place few have ever been and few will go again. 

Occasionally you hear your Higher spirit with inner words of comfort.  Occasionally you do get an ‘hallucination’, the Composer does indeed reconstruct the image of the loved one lost and may superimpose it on a familiar landscape, but do not dismiss the hallucination, for often there is the Higher spirit of the lost one ‘behind’ this image trying to communicate as best it can.  The images often seem like a sort of replay of a past event and indeed they are, for they are constructed from your Perceptions, but you have to ‘listen’ too for what lies behind, for occasionally you also hear an inner voice.  It is the voice that is key.

I too have been here – three times – so I know.

References and further reading

  • Roses in December:  Imaginary companions in the elderly – M O’Mahoney, K Shulman and D Silver Canadian Journal of Psychiatry 29th March 1984
  • The Hallucinations of widowhood – W Dewi Rees British Medical Journal October 1971
     
  • The Presence of the Dead: An empirical study – Gillian Bennett and Kate Mary Bennett Mortality volume 5 2000
     
  • Bereavement among elderly people:  Grief reactions, post bereavement hallucinations and quality of life – A Grimby; Acta Psychiatry Scand 1993

Observations

Sartor Resartus – Thomas Carlyle
How beautiful to die of broken heart, on paper!
Quite another thing in practise
Every window of your feeling, even of your intellect, as it were, begrimed and mud spattered, so that no pure ray can enter
A whole drugshop in your innards
The .. soul drowning slowly in quagmires of pain

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