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Ben March 19, 2013 at 7:33 pm

I’ve never told anyone about my voices… they’re terrifying most of the time. I’m only 16 (17 in a bit), but I remember hearing “ghosts” back when I was 9 or 10.

Usually, it’s one very dominant male and a submissive female. The female likes to say good things, but the male quickly shuts her up. She doesn’t get to talk much, but he talks a lot. Very negative and scary things. Whenever I try to ignore it, he shouts. And usually I see a quick flash when he does. Just a quick flash, like someone took a picture, or a flash of lightning. He usually tells me to hurt people, or give up, or hurt myself… I have OCD, so I get scary thoughts a lot, but the man’s voice adds a whole new level of scary. The only traumatic things I can remember is watching my dad nearly drown my mom, and the way he would mistreat me when I was younger (he dislocated my spine once). And my best friend died last year. It was a heavy loss.

Then there are other voices, usually girls that ask me questions, sometimes they ask about my plans for the day, or ask about my past. I usually don’t answer until I can’t bear it. And when people hear me talk to myself they either think I’m faking or crazy.

I’ve been on the verge of suicide twice, and I’ve cut myself several times, I can’t sleep at night because I can’t close my eyes without seeing things… well, I should stop being all sobby, it feels kinda good to tell at least someone about it. And to know I’m not alone.