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Brian Keenan – Four Quarters of Light

She placed her props around the blanket. The incense was already perfuming the room. Debra donned her face veil and told me to lie back and empty my mind. After a few minutes she would give me some instructions to focus on and hopefully I could take my first small step into the unknown.

I listened to Debra's instructions and followed them. I knew we were sensing out a portal, a place where two worlds cross. From there I could go and return on my spiritual quests.

Out of the quiet I heard the dull chink of bones, then the sharp noise of her rattle. Debra's voice was low behind me. Then the emphatic rhythm of her drum reverberated around the room; Debra's power chanting accompanied it. I lay back and let whatever was about to happen, happen.

Suddenly my guide's voice changed. It was clear and bright, completely different from the soft, melodic voice that had been building up the power chant. I knew immediately that she was speaking in a disassociated state, speaking her vision to me. She spoke of seeing a young child. He was alone, and seemed profoundly sad. Then she saw a frightened adult hiding behind the corner of a wall.

At moments her voice became low and strained, as if the effort to speak was too much or what she was 'seeing' was painful to articulate. I tried to listen intently but could make out little. Still, I sensed the pain and distress of it. It wasn't frightening or unnerving, but it did make me feel very close to my guide.

I wanted to help but didn't know how.

Just when the whole thing seemed too unbearable, Debra's voice called. This time she saw another bear. It was a huge creature. Now it was carrying a child and the lone boy. It was very protective and caring. A moment's silence followed, and Debra's voice changed again. This time it was full of wonder and enchantment. The place she was in was variously described as being beautiful, peaceful, filled with such content, and radiating with such harmony. The words themselves tended towards the banal and sentimental, but I could feel the heat coming off them as Debra spoke. She fell silent, and for a few moments I could only hear her languorous sighs. Then it was over, and we sat in silence, letting the moment retreat from us.

When the room had calmed and reality returned,, we shared our experience, trying to piece together what we had separately seen and felt. Normally such other-worldly intimacies can be awkward, but neither of us felt that. The power of the moment had been reassuring.

'When I do soul retrieval,' Debra explained, 'l actually see the soul piece at the age it was lost, many times in the very setting where the loss occurred. When, say, I find a four-year-old in a certain place doing a certain thing I actually see it as if I were there and it is very real. Sometimes those journeys are very long.

The big bear was carrying yourself, the child, to protect the child/you. You had a need to feel safe which was carried over into your adulthood and was exacerbated by your "lock-up". In actuality, the bear was a type of power wrap, a lorica from Celtic wisdom that you could call to you. You were very much in need of this.’

I looked at Debra questioningly and she looked up at my unspoken query. 'Yes, Brian, you are carrying a lot of pain and have been for a long time. But I know you intently understand this as I say, ultimately we heal ourselves with the help and advice that is given to us.  Really we should be doing more work together on this.