Alexander, Dr Eben - has to go back
Type of Spiritual Experience
A description of the experience
Proof of heaven – Dr Eben Alexander
At some point, I came up to the edge of the Gateway and found that I could not re-enter it. The Spinning Melody-up to then my ticket into those higher regions-would no longer take me there. The gates of Heaven were closed.
Once again, describing what this felt like is challenging in the extreme, thanks to the bottleneck of linear language that we have to force everything through here on earth, and the general flattening of experience that happens when we're in the body. Think of every time you've ever experienced disappointment. There is a sense in which all the losses that we undergo here on earth are in truth variations of one absolutely central loss: the loss of Heaven.
On the day that the doors of Heaven were closed to me, I felt a sense of sadness unlike any I'd ever known. Emotions are different up there. All the human emotions are present, but they're deeper, more spacious-they're not just inside but outside as well. Imagine that every time your mood changed here on earth, the weather changed instantly along with it. That your tears would bring on a torrential downpour and your joy would make the clouds instantly disappear.
That gives a hint of how much more vast and consequential changes of mood feel like up there, how strangely and powerfully what we think of as "inside" and "outside" don't really exist at all.
So it was that I, heartbroken, now sank into a world of ever increasing sorrow, a gloom that was at the same time an actual sinking.
I moved down through great walls of clouds. There was murmuring all around me, but I couldn’t understand the words. Then I realized that countless beings were surrounding me, kneeling in arcs that spread into the distance. Looking back on it now; I realize what these half-seen, half-sensed hierarchies of beings, stretching out into the dark above and below, were doing.
They were praying for me.