Morning glory seeds - I almost died
Type of Spiritual Experience
Dragon = demon in this context
A description of the experience
I am actually very serious. Here is the story:
I decided I wanted to try morning glory seeds . But since I'd never had a great trip on them, I thought I'd try taking more. So I bought about 11.8 grams (maybe 400 seeds). I washed them off, dried them, and crushed them with a hammer, then spooned them into my mouth, washed down with orange juice. This was at 7:15 PM. I drank ginger tea to help with the nausea, and to keep me from throwing up. It actually worked, but I now almost wish I HAD thrown it up early on.
Things went decently for the first 3 1/2 hours. I was extremely jittery and anxious, but still enjoying myself. I figured that I had peaked, but I was wrong. About 4 hours in, things were getting very intense. My heart was beating very fast, and I was having a hard time breathing. I knew I had to throw up, and I figured that that was all I needed to do. So I threw up. But things were not getting better; they were getting worse. I was having a harder time breathing, so I called my mom, and asked her to come right over.
Meanwhile I threw up 3 more times. When she got there I was shaking and sweaty and hyperventilating. I tried to breathe slowly and deeply, but that only made me throw up again. I laid down on my bed, and then my heart started going at least 200 bpm and I could not seem to breathe. My eyes started to close, and I couldn't seem to stop them. I asked my mom to call 911. She dialed it on her cell phone and hit talk, but I then told her to cancel it, because I felt like I had to throw up again, and I hoped that that would ease my panic. I threw up another 3-4 times.
As I was bent over the toilet, watching the terrible colors swirl, I kept hearing this song kids sang in church when I was a kid called "King Jesus is All"... the lyrics looping over and over "King Jesus is All, My All and All"... and at that point I realized that He is literally All that I need. I don't need these chemicals in my brain to feel or be spiritual. I'm a Christian, but after becoming interested in psychedelics, my morals had shifted to meet my desires.
My pulse began to calm, and I was breathing a little more regularly, so I laid on the couch. I began shivering and convulsing a little bit, but that began to die down.
I went to my mom's house to sleep, and I took 2 Tylenol PM, which was a really bad idea. About 3 AM I had to throw up more, for probably a total of 18-20 times that night.
The Tylenol PM started making me extremely drowsy, but the MG seeds would not let me fall asleep yet. Every time I closed my eyes and nodded, I'd hear this WHONGGGG sound in my head that freaked me out. I still was not breathing normally.
Then.. I peaked on the morning glory seeds, at like 3:30 AM, about 9 hours after ingestion. Up until then the psychedelic effects had been minimal. I'd been seeing my dilated eyes opened in horror all over the walls and on every object, and a few colors, but then it became insane. The bedroom distorted unbelievably; the door would bend and fold into the wall, and objects broke apart or fell together. Colorless strands were waving on the walls and shaping into moving objects. I saw a chinese dragon head tilting up and down, and then it morphed into my own beating heart, surrounded by my organs. Everywhere I looked I saw my heart beating. It reminded me that I was glad to be alive. But these visuals were not enjoyable. There was something very VERY frightening about the state that I was in. When I closed my eyes I'd be gripped by this terrible feeling of hopelessness and fear.
Eventually I fell asleep. The next day I was still not normal. I was having a hard time breathing, and it was hard to eat. I still had a terrible fear, and I could not be alone without panicking. I'm actually still not quite normal, 2 days later. But I'm embracing normality as it begins to slowly enfold me again.
This experience has taught me a lot. It has taken a lot of tragic incidents to finally get me to realize my mistakes. I have been rushed in an ambulance to the hospital from DXM, I have been arrested for growing mushrooms, I've been to jail 3 times, I've come very close to dying from a panic attack on 7 grams of cyan mushrooms, and now I have been as close to death as I have ever been, from freaking MG seeds.
I have decided to give it all up. No more chemicals. I cannot be responsible with them, and it is my personal conviction that as a Christian, God does not want me to be doing these things.
I always knew this in my heart, but I bent my beliefs to accomodate what I wanted to do with my life. I've wasted too much time rebelling against society, blaming others, playing the victim, and eating chemicals.
I will build my spirituality between me and God. I don't need a middle-man. The Bible has never given me a hangover, put me in jail, or broken my familys' hearts.
So I offer this experience as a caution to those who wish to experiment with high doses of psychedelic drug, including MG seeds. I'm not pushing my own religious or spiritual beliefs on anyone, but I think everyone should be careful with their minds and bodies. I used to think that psychedelics were a shortcut to fulfillment or enlightenment, but now I've realized that there can be a hefty price to pay with misuse, and possibly even with what can be considered responsible use.