Type of Spiritual Experience
The following case description was given by a woman who was in a coma for 5 days after attempting to commit suicide.
A description of the experience
Margot Grey – Return from Death
In the narrative that was related this woman evidently insisted that the experiences were 'not dreams or hallucinations. A dream is often nebulous, but what I saw and heard were of an incredible clarity. Even after 5 years I remember all the details' She evidently awoke in a world of silence, convinced she had done something harmful to herself. She then went on to say
“I had a certainty of not dreaming but of being conscious of myself, my thoughts, sentiments and sensations'.
She next found herself in a dark room. Slowly as she grew used to the twilight, she realised that she was lying on a cold marble table. She said
“I sought some sound, the presence of someone. But I was alone, desolately alone. I waited for something, anything, not to remain in the state of mental anguish that grew and grew'.
She then seems to have found herself in a spacious, though austere chapel, which she felt was a kind of hospital. Suddenly, she became aware of a dazzling light at her feet, which came from a beautiful gold lantern on a stand about six feet high. Its white light shone directly on her. She remembers thinking
'My God, how cold it is ,am I alive or dead? A dead person would have flowers, someone there who wept. But if I am alive, I shall certainly die if no one helps me'.
She recalls her feelings at that time, which were a mixture of indignation at being left alone and fear of the unknown. Presently she saw a male figure, young pale with dark eyes, which were fixed understandingly on her. She tried to communicate mentally with him and he answered in the same fashion.
She called 'help me, help me, whoever you are'
He responded 'be calm and have faith'
She next became conscious of the sounds of voices which grew louder and louder. At the same time she noticed that there was a spiral staircase which led upwards. She mentally saw the upper floor which was an austere, white washed room like a convent. Figures in dark cloaks were conversing – discussing her.
They were figures without faces – or at any rate their cloaks hid their features. She knew that she was 'being tried, accused of having transgressed and would have to pay' She recalls that although several speakers defended her, a great number accused her. She was terrified, but says that the 'being of light gave me courage and made me understand if they condemned me and he would stop them if they did'.
The next thing that happened was that there was a violent slamming of a door, followed by a tramping of feet, as if people were hurrying. The staircase creaked under the weight of a multitude who burst into the room. There were many dark figures who were old and bent. She continued 'they fell upon me. I hardly had time to throw a last entreating glance at the being of light. I felt the judgement was that they had condemned me'.................
'Was it the judgement I feared? Or perhaps I feared not saving my soul. I saw that to cut oneself off from life was indeed a mortal sin