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Zoe November 29, 2012 at 12:47 am

….... I’m 17 years old and I’ve had voices in my head since I’ve been about 6 or 7. I know this because when I was about that age I remember having ‘the devil’ in my head, and he would say things like “if you don’t run up and down the hallway 7 times I will cut your mums arm off”.

I also had OCD tendancies, I would have to do strange rituals like touching something four times if I touched something next to it before, because the second object would feel left out because I touched the other thing first.. strange, I know lol

Anyway,this voice used to scare me greatly and I would always listen to it and usually did what it said. One day I decided to tell my mum about it. She freaked out and I think I could sense how weird she thought it was. Strangely, the voice went away and my OCD got a lot better, I barely have the OCD at all now, I may have to do a ritual once a month or something.

Now, I sometimes hear phrases in my head .. Or one word going round and round. Or a part of a song that I’ve never heard in my life before. Just going round …and I will keep remembering it throughout the day. It never really bothered me before and I didn’t think anything of it. Recently though I have been taking a lot of drugs and smoking a lot of weed. I think that this brings the voices out a lot more.

The first time I got really freaked out by a voice was when I was really really drugged up [....]. It was about 4 in the morning and I suddenly had a feeling of pure dread… I had a voice going round and round in my head… ”this is it, youre going to die” and the word ‘****’ kept going round my head too. Luckily I didn’t die, thank god, but it really creeped me out and I didnt want to talk about it to anyone. It felt like it was my conscience, it was so DEEP and personal and on such a higher level to anything i had ever experienced before. I could really hear it so loudly in my body and in my head. It was genderless and I could also SEE the voice, the writing literally going round and round my head.

Since then, I have only experienced a few voices/phrases when I have been stoned but they are not half as severe and I do not feel dread. Just paranoia, for example, when I am walking home in the dark I often hear funny noises like footsteps that I know arent there.. a voice saying ‘run’ (i know its in my head.. its like my subconscious) etc.

But I was just wondering if drugs play a big part in other people’s voices or just mine? Please don’t judge me, I understand that drugs are wrong and I have cut down on them a lot recently since my episode (I am not an addict, I just use them recreationally on the weekends with friends). Anyway, …...... Peace!x