The voice that said she was going to die
Type of Spiritual Experience
from the Hearing Voices network
In her very open state, Zoe is attracting a lot of unwanted attention from the spirit world. Some of this appears to be from out of body and none too pleasant people - it may be from other drug users who think she's a ghost too!
Some of it may be from genuine spirit helpers, she does seem to have spirits on her side .
And the saddest phrase of all? 'I am not an addict, I just use them recreationally on the weekends with friends'. Oh dear.
A description of the experience
….... I’m 17 years old and I’ve had voices in my head since I’ve been about 6 or 7. I know this because when I was about that age I remember having ‘the devil’ in my head, and he would say things like “if you don’t run up and down the hallway 7 times I will cut your mums arm off”.
I also had OCD tendancies, I would have to do strange rituals like touching something four times if I touched something next to it before, because the second object would feel left out because I touched the other thing first.. strange, I know lol
Anyway,this voice used to scare me greatly and I would always listen to it and usually did what it said. One day I decided to tell my mum about it. She freaked out and I think I could sense how weird she thought it was. Strangely, the voice went away and my OCD got a lot better, I barely have the OCD at all now, I may have to do a ritual once a month or something.
Now, I sometimes hear phrases in my head .. Or one word going round and round. Or a part of a song that I’ve never heard in my life before. Just going round …and I will keep remembering it throughout the day. It never really bothered me before and I didn’t think anything of it. Recently though I have been taking a lot of drugs and smoking a lot of weed. I think that this brings the voices out a lot more.
The first time I got really freaked out by a voice was when I was really really drugged up [....]. It was about 4 in the morning and I suddenly had a feeling of pure dread… I had a voice going round and round in my head… ”this is it, youre going to die” and the word ‘****’ kept going round my head too. Luckily I didn’t die, thank god, but it really creeped me out and I didnt want to talk about it to anyone. It felt like it was my conscience, it was so DEEP and personal and on such a higher level to anything i had ever experienced before. I could really hear it so loudly in my body and in my head. It was genderless and I could also SEE the voice, the writing literally going round and round my head.
Since then, I have only experienced a few voices/phrases when I have been stoned but they are not half as severe and I do not feel dread. Just paranoia, for example, when I am walking home in the dark I often hear funny noises like footsteps that I know arent there.. a voice saying ‘run’ (i know its in my head.. its like my subconscious) etc.
But I was just wondering if drugs play a big part in other people’s voices or just mine? Please don’t judge me, I understand that drugs are wrong and I have cut down on them a lot recently since my episode (I am not an addict, I just use them recreationally on the weekends with friends). Anyway, …...... Peace!x
The source of the experienceThe Hearing Voices Network
Concepts, symbols and science items
ConceptsCommunication with bodied souls
Communication with disembodied souls