Observations placeholder

Cannabis and insomnia

Identifier

007991

Type of Spiritual Experience

Background

This is a fascinating report.

If she had been given pharmaceuticals to take every day for her insomnia and depression, the doctor would not have called it addiction, he would have said it was a medicine or medication.

If she had had alcohol every day to counter her shyness, no one would have called it an addiction, in fact the adults she was with might have encouraged it - 'give raye another glass of red wine will you, it loosens her up a bit'.

When is a drug a drug?

 

A description of the experience

Citation:   Raye. "Most of All I Sleep: An Experience with Cannabis (ID 41639)". Erowid.org. Jul 23, 2007. erowid.org/exp/41639

Well I am addicted I guess. I know that weed isn't addictive but something has got to be going on.

I started smoking in 2002 that's over 3 years ago. It first started out like many other people, I would smoke once a week on the weekends. I would NEVER smoke during the week or before work. I would also not tell many people that I was smoking. I would smoke with my sister and my cousin (they were already a year into their addiction and smoked every day).

Weed was like the antidote for crap in my life.

I never got along with my family and for once I was hanging out with them (at my grandmother's house which is where we smoked it).

I have had insomnia since I was about fifteen and suddenly I could sleep! Let me tell you, that was the number one reason I continued to smoke, sleep is worth almost anything to a hardcore insomniac. Soon I began smoking more and hanging out more. Then I got a car and it made getting back and forth to my grandma's and work and school was that much easier. I began smoking more and more and driving home at 5:30 in the morning so my grandmother wouldn't know we were up all night smoking weed. It's like time passes so fast and slow all at the same time and I really enjoy the company.

In those early days, we would enjoy being high so much and hanging out with each other getting high was everyone's first choice.

I began to ignore my other friends and just exclusively hang out with my sister and cousin. I felt like I was on top of the world but I was becoming a bit anti-social. I realized this one day on November 18, 2002 and decided that I was going to quit smoking weed and cigarettes and get it together. That all went to crap when I got home and the Arizona Police were on the phone telling me that my father died and I just crashed. I don't think I have ever been that high that long in my life. I was pretty much high every day (with the exception of my father's funeral) until August 2003. I wasn't quite strung out but my life was vastly different and I couldn't figure out how I got there and I wasn't sure if weed was the reason, a factor, or had nothing to do with it at all (I'm honestly still not sure).

I had two friends, one sort of friends, my sister and my cousin. I was stuck in the same job that was going no where and I had dropped out of school.

I decided that I was going to stop for a week and see how it felt. But the thing was, I had no social life outside of going to work and smoking with my sister and cousin (and various people we smoked out-I was the nicest person if we were going to share sacks). so while they were smoking, I would sit outside and cry because I couldn't be in there while they smoked (I would have smoked too), and I was very emotional from the withdrawal. It was a very low period for me.

But after only a week I cracked mostly because I couldn't sleep and I desperately needed to sleep.

My life was empty and if I couldn't sleep then I wasn't sure what I would do. I even thought of suicide. What really gets me is that it was such a big deal to stop but as soon as I decided to start again, that was it. I just started like it was nothing. At this point I was living at my grandmother's but I was about to move into my friends house in January of 2004 so I could go to school and (so my friend thought) kick the weed habit for good.

But it didn't matter I continued to smoke and actually it helped me in school. I really don't know if the difference was weed or my outlook on life but whatever it was, it worked.

I love smoking before class. I've just recently started smoking weed before class on the campus. I was a little wary but actually it's wonderful.

It makes me talk more (I'm horrifically shy to the point of social retardation) and I actually hit on this guy that I really like recently because of smoking a blunt before class.

I know I make weed sound bad, but the truth of it is I love smoking. That's the only reason I continue right? I mean I think back to the hardest of times and when I had nothing but weed. It's almost like an old friend that I could never leave behind even if it has done bad for me on the occasion.

It made me calmer, I get along better with people, I lose those crappy inhibitions and MOST OF ALL I SLEEP. Sleeping is like the best thing in the world. Bad stuff are the munchies (I've gained a lot of weight) and the laziness that sometimes accompanies weed smoking, it's illegal (which is really the worst part of it), now that everyone knows that I smoke they're always asking if I'm high whenever I mess up or don't understand them.
It gets very annoying. But over all I love it and can't imagine going more than two days without it. That's sad but not to me. I wonder if it's weed that makes me not care or the fact that I love it so much.
raye

The source of the experience

EROWID

Concepts, symbols and science items

Concepts

Symbols

Science Items

Activities and commonsteps

Commonsteps

References