Observations placeholder

Rape of a child

Identifier

005224

Type of Spiritual Experience

Background

A description of the experience

 

http://www.iands.org/experiences/nde-accounts/894--unlimited-peace-and-serenity.html

When I was eight years old, I was attacked by two men who physically and sexually abused me. One of them wanted to drown me in a nearby river and so he took me to the river’s edge. Moments before he held me under the water, my body went into “freeze” mode and I remember giving up the fight and surrendering. He put his hands around my neck and held me under the water facing up. I remember seeing the sun from under the water and feeling an incredible sense of panic, which, within seconds, was replaced with an unlimited amount of peace and serenity.

I then found myself in a very narrow tunnel of an incredibly bright white light. I was on my back floating and moving forward, feet first. I recall feelings of absolute bliss and trying to describe this blissfulness with words would fail to measure up to this experience—maybe it was unconditional love. I also recall feelings of guilt and thinking, “I don’t care about my pets I am leaving behind and I feel bad about that.” I didn’t even think about my family. It was as if I had already forgotten them and I didn’t even care. That was the only thought I had in the tunnel because it was mainly an experience of feeling and “just being.”

I then recall reaching the end of the tunnel, which was blocked by a huge face. The face was so big that I couldn’t see the borders of the face. It was a man who had a white beard and white skin and slightly resembled Santa Claus’ face. He told me, “It’s not your time” in a voice that was nurturing.

I replied, “But I don’t want to go back.” He said, “I’m sorry but it’s not your time, you have to go back.”

I don’t remember any other conversation than that. But he moved his face a little so that the tunnel was no longer completely blocked. He was giving me a peek of what was on the other side of his face. From within the tunnel I saw what looked like outer space and there were beams of light shooting around and I saw what looked like planets.

The next event I remember is I am a light shooting around in space with the other lights. I don’t communicate with them; I just shoot around like they are. I don’t care about them or feel I need to do anything with them and I sense that they feel the same—I am just “being.” I also recall seeing a planet in the distance that I felt was “home.” I had a feeling that I was from there and that earth was not my home. I also saw a light that was so big that I could only see part of it. I felt that we all came from it. It was “just being” too.

I then recall seeing my parents hear my screams as I was looking down from incredibly high up in the sky where I was drowned. My parents were quite far away but they heard my screams. I especially noticed my father running to help me. I didn’t remember how I was saved, whether my father attacked the perpetrator or not. I did remember when I “woke up” though.

The first thought I had was I wish I was dead. I felt very depressed. I missed “my home” (the place where I was a light) and now earth seemed like hell to me. Perhaps because of the attack I experienced. It was not until a few years ago that I accepted being here. I even tried to commit suicide three times as a young adult to return.

I still prefer not to be here, but I know that I don’t have a choice. I know that I have a purpose—as if I have an assignment. It’s to help others come from their hearts; help them not be afraid of the unknown; and help them to see the light in themselves. There are four lessons I learned from my NDE: 1) love, 2) be loved, 3) just be, and 4) experience life. The earth is our playground! Have fun!

The source of the experience

Ordinary person

Concepts, symbols and science items

Science Items

Activities and commonsteps

Activities

Overloads

Drowning
Psychological trauma
Rape

Commonsteps

References