Two shots in the head
Type of Spiritual Experience
Backgroundfrom EROWID a cautionary tale, no spiritual experience but important to include
A description of the experience
Two Shots in the Head – Clonazepam by Beastie Dr
Some events in this report are very vague, but you will understand why if you read the report.
I had been up nearly all night, and it was Friday. I got home from school, put my backpack down, and went to my room. I was exhausted, ready to sleep and forego a night of partying. I had some Clonazepam, and I took three. I can't remember whether I snorted all of them, but I'm pretty sure I snorted one and took the other two orally, as I distinctly remember that they tasted sweet, and the intranasal one actually seemed refreshing to my nostrils. The lights went out about 10 minutes later, I think, while I was lying on the living room floor. That was the first shot.
I woke up to my younger brother jumping on my back, who had gotten home from school half an hour after I crashed. I was probably more angry than I had been in my entire life. I was enraged, livid, spitting fire. I jumped up to try and hurt him; I didn't even know what I was going to do. Too fast, I felt like I was drunk...I plummeted back down to the ground, and cracked my left temple on the corner of a coffee table. The second shot.
I lay on the ground in the fetal position. I'm sure it was intense pain, but I don't remember too much after this. I called my mom when I was able to stand up.
I remember nothing of the conversation. The last word I remember was a screamed 'BULLSHIT!' as I slammed down the phone. I was certainly not tranquil. After this, I was gone. I have lost the rest of the day. I have retained one specific memory after this point, and that is the whirring of a CAT scan around my head; my mom must have taken me to the hospital. The day ended whenever this CAT scan took place, probably around 4:30.
I can't put any events in order for the rest of the day. I don't know what I said, what I did. I don't know if I admitted to being under the influence. I know I suddenly had some new swim trunks for the vacation I was scheduled to take next week. I actually had to ask my parents where they came from. It turns out I went shopping at around 8 pm that night. That means I probably went to bed around 10pm, five and a half hours unaccounted for. I noticed an awful bruise on my face the next morning, and had to think carefully where it came from. Haze. A fall, then haze.
I still can't remember much of this day, even six months later. The swelling never went down in my temple, and there is still a bump that I notice there. I feel ill when I think about the time I'm missing.
I personally attribute it to the Clonazepam, because I have had more serious head injuries with no loss of memory. I'd have to advise against doing this drug, unless you can be ABSOLUTELY sure that you can control yourself. You will never know on your own, and people might look at you differently, but you won't know why. This was probably one of the scariest experiences of my life, and I will not replicate it ever again.