Schiller, Lori - Still feeling suicidal and wanting to know why
Type of Spiritual Experience
Another clue which I regard is key is that Lori loses her access to her memory. Without any input from memory, the composer is free to take over. Normally we can get access to memory as a means of rationalising the input we receive. Thus a drug user can normally access their memory to not only make sense of any hallucinations but to tell himself that it is all an illusion – not real. Without access to memory Lori was unable to determine what was and what was not 'real', she lost her belief systems. This may have been a result of the damage to her brain or it could have been brought on by the drugs she was given.
A description of the experience
From The Quiet Room – Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett
10/15/82 Nursing note 3-11pm status : constant observation
Patient had a visit from brother this evening. She appeared to be very pleased with the visit. She talked a little about still feeling suicidal and wanting to know why, since it was her life, why couldn't she end it. She feels she has lived her life already and there isn't anything else to live for. Patient spacey at times. She also talked about her memory loss and wondered if it will ever return completely