Type of Spiritual Experience
Irina Tweedie's guru explains the importance of getting rid of belief systems in the search for annihilation. For the effects see her entry
A description of the experience
The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
All the morning sitting there alone I kept on worrying about the doctrine of karma. If karma does not exist, how can one account for the order of the universe? One can see everywhere the law of action and reaction, the cause producing its effects. He himself admits the existence of karma by his statement that the attachment for the Master produces such strong vasana that it remains forever. And what is vasana? Are not vasanas subtle desires arising from samskaras which remain as impressions of actions in the chitta?
'This is part of the system' said Professor Batnagar when we were discussing it. 'To destroy all the preconceived ideas, all your beliefs which come from book knowledge and learning. Perhaps some of the ideas will get confirmation later, but by then they will be a living experience; not book knowledge any longer'.
Became completely confused. All my beliefs he takes away from me! I seem to have nothing left. This was the best, the last, the most logical belief; all the others I have lost somewhere along the way... A great fear seized me. What will remain when all the beliefs are gone? Love alone will remain, this Love which is drying up my body... And didn't he say, some time ago, that even love will have to go one day? What then?
When I arrived at 5, he sat in the courtyard on the tachat. He was not playing cards as usual but seemed to be waiting for me. I went straight to him. Could not wait to tell him as soon as possible for I was desperate.
'Why' he smiled, as if nothing had happened
'The human being must believe in something. You take all my beliefs away from me'.
'I try' he laughed gaily
'But you take a belief away and you don't give another one' I exclaimed, exasperated. 'You don't even take the trouble to explain anything'
He got up from the tachat and stood leaning against a column. 'If you let the beliefs go, then after a while you will discover something very different'
Later he said ‘to be intellectual, to have much knowledge, is a hindrance. For people who are not, it is easier. The ones with knowledge know all the rules – what is written in the scriptures. But they are not able to lose themselves. They may get up at 4 in the morning, go to the Ganges, do this exercise, that abhyasa. They don't understand that it is only an external thing; not at all important
Intellectuals split themselves into so many exterior things; but the only essential is to be able to lose oneself. To be absorbed somewhere........’