Gerhardie, William - Resurrection 03
Type of Spiritual Experience
A description of the experience
William, Gerhardie - Resurrection
There was this uncanny tape of light between us, like the umbilical cord, by means of which the body on the bed was kept breathing, whilst its mould wandered about the flat through space which seemed as dense as water. I seemed indeed to be not walking but wading through an unsteady
It was as if, unknown to us, our entire earth was under water and I, realizing with a sense of adventure that I was a submarine creature, unfolded out of that other parcel of mine on the bed my submarine suit and went off in it zig-zagging through the ocean elernent. And the ocean gave out
its own dimly luminous submarine light.
Here my consciousness, which like an arc lamp in the wind seemed to grow bright and again dim, bright and dim, had reached its fullest awareness. I was completely conscious, no longer frightened, but excited, and troubled by the problem of what evidence to collect for myself in the time at my disposal, no doubt short, as I was led to think by the brightening and dimming of my consciousness.
' Now be scientific' I said,' this is one chance in a million. You must convince yourself so that nothing later will make you think it was merely a dream.' AII this I said to myself, while going round and collecting such evidence as : the window is open : note that. That curtain is drawn. This is the new towel heater, only put in yesterday, not the old one I had for two years : note that. At myself it did not occur to me to cast any lingering glance, since I was manifestly there, just as now, while I am writing these lines, it does not occur to me to examine my person. But I noticed my hands seemed more greyish, which was perhaps the effect of the dimmed light, and I noticed a familiar outline of myself in the looking-glass just as always in a grey dressing-gown. There was another reason why I did not address myself to the minute examination of myself.
My movements were unsteady and it looked as if the motion of the body though apparently under my own dubious control, was much too sensitively responding to suggestion. One thought would pull this strange featherweight body of mine one way, another thought would push it another. I was rnuch too excited to think what to do, and my body staggered like that of a drunkard, and frightened rne. Nor was it light enough for any minute inspection.
''What evidence ? What more evidence ?' I kept asking myself, as I passed from one room to another. Here I noted which windows were shut, then I tried, and failed, to open the linen cupboard. Then again I noted the time. I could think of no other way of collecting evidence to convince myself
later, for my consciousness flared up full and then grew so dim again that I was near to sinking back into my dream.
And suddenly this strange power which seemed to stand by passively resumed its lead and began to play pranks with me. I was being pushed along like a half-filled balloon.