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The Art of Dying – Drs Peter and Elizabeth Fenwick

My daughter Eleanor was in hospital dying from breast cancer which had spread to her brain. We sat with her as she fell into a coma and her doctor said she would pass away soon. She was in a coma for three days but then around 4 a.m. she just woke up as normal and said to another daughter, 'My spirit sat on the edge of the bed and I thought ,"Shall I go now?", but I thought, "No, not now".' Eleanor lived another four weeks and slept and talked on alternate days. She talked as if she had seen a glimpse of another place, it was such a precious time that we would have missed if she had died earlier, it would have been so raw and unfinished.

Eleanor was so calm and peaceful, completely unafraid.

She fell into a coma again and the Macmillan nurse said she would probably go when we were not there. We could not understand, as we were by her bed, day and night. At the end the nurses came and said they just wanted to freshen her up. We went into the day room and had barely sat down when we were called back as Eleanor had passed away while we were out of the room. Macmillan nurses see this often, as if the dying person wants to start the journey alone, when their dearest ones are out of the room.