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A Commentary on the ‘Christos’ Technique - Alastair I. McIntosh

Here is a slightly adapted account of my dialogue with Mary …. during her fourth Christos run. The transcription starts after ….I set part one of Mike Oldfield’s highly con­ducive work, ‘Ommadawn’, playing at low volume.
(M=Mary; G=Guide.) 

M.  I feel back to normal now.

G.  Who are you now?

M.  Nobody, just a lump of consciousness. …. I feel more capable of just perceiving …, rather than thinking.

G.  Can you perceive beauty and love?

M.  Yes. It’s too big for me to actually see, but I can see what love does.

G.  Can you experience love?

M.  I feel as though I’m inside it rather than it being inside of me, so in a sense I’m experiencing it just now, but not really feeling it.

G.   Try sending out strong thoughts of beauty, goodness, love, and so on.

M.  I feel as though I’m being untied — I’m no longer a small, solid being of consciousness floating around. It’s as if I’ve become much more diffuse — becoming part of love and beauty instead of being inside them. It’s like being unravelled — breaking up into little particles of dust — a slow, gentle explosion.

G.   To what end?

M.  No end, just going outwards to infinity. Embracing everything.

G.   What’s your relationship to everything?

M.  I’m just being part of it, being dispersed into it. I’m diffusing into a gas which is everything — solid, physical and spiritual. I’m dispersed amongst the all or whatever it is. It means that I’m in it, and it’s in me… I feel aware of my closeness to God, but I’m no closer than I normally am. It’s not so much a matter of getting closer, but more like turning the light on something that’s already there. 

The experience terminated when Mary became more and more intellectually active through having to answer the overload of questions which I fired at her. In future experiments I shall probably remain silent during such states.