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Hallucinations and Lots of Hot Showers - Belladonna (with Barbiturate), by Michael   (ID 36873). Erowid.org. Nov 23, 2004. erowid.org/exp/36873

Well I'll start off by giving a briefing of who I am. I'm a high school student, a sophmore of the age of 17. I had been prescribed a drug called Belladonna with Barbiturate (more then a year ago), which I use to settle an extremely nervous stomach.(My thought process became too deep and I withhold all of my emotions thus making me internally sick.) Originally I took it at the regular dose which I don't know. I believe there is only one regular measurement of it, in a pill form anways. I increased my dosage from the most being 4-5 recommended in a day, a half hour before eating, to some days 7-8, back to regular, and a few days went to 12 pills a day.
My pupil dilation was literally to the edge of my iris almost all of the time. Sometimes even in broad daylight. I found that at high dosages I became literally drunk. I also found that I had gained this hypnotic depressing obsessive quality. The doors became my favorite band, being that a few of their songs are somewhat hypnotic and depressing: The End, Whiskey Bar, and Heroine. The Belladonna/Barbiturate seemed to change me somehow I have listened to the doors almost 5 hours a day every day mostly the end. I never grow tired of it and I never can seem to listen to anything other.
Meditation - During the year I also experimented with meditating. I never had much luck just sitting there. Only occasionally I would manage to reach this state, mainly through the hypnotic influence of the barbituate. But I discovered well in the shower under heat and the steam of the water. My mind fell more easily into this half conscious form of state. I was partly asleep thanks to the hot sedating water and the depressive quality of the barbituate aided in keeping me that way. At the same exact time my obsessive concentrated on consciousness and deep thinking. I had reached extremely easily every time some form of state, where my eyes closed but still conscious at the same. Part of the time I seemed somewhat as if was hallucinating. Though I discovered there is some way to control exactly what I hallucinate. I couldn't quite explain sometimes my eyes were closed other times open. Seeing either blackness or the water rushing by before my eyes. While simultaneously hallucinating.
The only way I can truly describe how to control my hallucination was thinking about it and in some way just focusing my eyes. Not focusing them right seemed to break the hallucination and it would stop until I regained focus. I spent hours in the shower, 1-3 hours a day, normally only an hour. What I actually saw was quite different. Instead of being completely in dream land. Regular dreams or hallucinations seem to follow a strict form of jumping from one place say in a movie to falling and falling. This however was quite different. I couldn't really concentrate on seeing what was actually there without breaking concentration of what I was creating.
A slightly more detailed description - In the hallucination itself or whatever form of place I had somehow constructed was exactly what I was thinking. I could see and focus on that one thing for example camera focus in and out from far away to close up. I could move around and bring whatever creation I wished alive. And for those who question whether I was doing hallucinagens no I have never done LSD PCP and all of those trippy drugs. ... I've basically said all there is to say I could create objects in my mind give them mostly realistic qualities, make them vanish or interact with other objects. Like in 3d studio max.
My Vision - During three of my semiconscious states I had no control though I could still see and focus but I could not move around like I should have been able too. I saw angels and was in this city. I'll say a few basic things it definitely was not a hallucination. I spoke to angels and would love to write about it.