Observations placeholder
Tyaga the Road of Fire - 08
Identifier
001088
Type of Spiritual Experience
None
Background
Irina desperately wanted love – she had lost her husband, and she wanted to love someone she really believed in. Thus Bhai Sahib was able to build on this desperate desire for love. First he convinced her that she needed to love him as Master. Then he periodically withdrew his love, then softened and showed love, then admonished her for no reason – very cruel I know – but this was extremely effective........
Isolation is generally involuntary because it is so hard on the person, it can result in suicide long before the composer has the chance to kick in and help. But it is a technique that has been used by gurus on their disciples, and in religious institutions. And it was used on Irina Tweedie
This form of 'he loves me, he love me not' approach to attrition, does not work if the guru does not combine it with total unpredictability. The person must feel always on their toes, never knowing whether they are in favour or not, never knowing whether what they are about to say will cause anger or whether it might elicit a kind word. The guru must judge it very finely for this to work..
It is a sort of game in which the guru is entirely in control, so that in the end the person has lost all their will and is running after the guru trying to please like a poor little obedient puppy. So again the will is being utterly defeated.
Men seem quite good at this form of attrition anyway. The 'maybe I'll call you' approach to getting women; or perhaps they say they will call, then don't , but call later at a known inconvenient time. Or maybe they say they will meet you, and they are late or don't turn up. This works well in breaking down the will of women, but a male guru cannot use this approach with another man, so another approach might be used. It is clever psychology, but not when used in normal relationships!
For the final effects see 000159 – Tyaga road of fire
A description of the experience
The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
It was raining this morning. I went at 9am. The room was open. I hesitated but went inside because it was too cold and draughty to sit in the doorway leading into the inner courtyard. Through the open door I saw him having his breakfast in the next room. I timidly asked if I could sit here in the meantime because it was too cold to sit outside. He grunted something and I understood I was not welcome.
So I went and sat in the doorway. It was raining steadily and a cold wind was blowing in gusts. I was cold and my feet were wet. I hoped that he would call me inside. But he did not. I sat for many hours, and I must confess I was resentful. Everybody else was allowed to go in. As soon as they arrived they went in. And everybody else had precedence. Always the last and the least and the shabbiest dog; that's me, I thought bitterly. If I wanted something of importance, there was never time for me.
As soon as I opened my mouth a procession of people would start; crying babies to be blessed, servants, people in and out, children fighting or howling or quarrelling; and so it went on. I was always the last.
Felt like crying; my feet became colder and colder.
The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
I greeted him as usual when I came in. He ignored me completely. He was walking up and down on the brick elevation in front of the house, mala in his hand. Had a premonition of some trouble brewing, but chased this thought away. He gave me a quick look and continued to walk up and down.
Then I noticed - the Great Separation was here... it is useless to try to describe it to someone who has never experienced it. It is a peculiar, special feeling of utter loneliness we all experience sometime in our lives.
All seems dark and lifeless. There is no purpose anywhere or in anything. No God to pray to. No hope. Nothing at all.
The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
So much sorrow is in me that there is no speech left to express it. Have no desire to speak to him. Go there in the morning and sit. About 10am he sends me home. I am sort of empty. Everything seems to be dead. No desires are left, only one; only this terrible, deadly longing. But there seems to be no hope. It is a sort of peace made darkness......
Something happened last night. I cannot find myself. This morning I experienced the nearest state of non being since I am alive....... mind does not work at all.
Tried to read a journal forwarded to me from Adyar and could not comprehend a thing.
The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
In the evening after a few minutes, I was sent out because his tea was brought in. Even to drink tea is now an excuse to send me out. Sat outside on the tachat; no chairs were out. Nobody bothers to do anything for me now. Even the servant, seeing the treatment I am getting, treats me with contempt – grins impertinently at me each time he has the chance.