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Observations placeholder

Stead, William - part 04 - The family in the derelict house



Type of Spiritual Experience


Number of hallucinations: 1


[Erowid Warning: Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous.]

A description of the experience

Life on the home front, and at school was both going well. It was now the start of the summer holidays, which had been really looked forward to. The trouble with all this free time was it left me at a bit of a loss. Accompanied by a friend, who lived in the same row of houses, we went cycling to a nearby town. Whilst looking around the shops it struck me how easy it would be to begin shoplifting once again. The security appeared quite lax. There was a lot to consider about resuming, and it involved a number of implications. True to fashion I wrestled with my conscience for about thirty seconds, then stole something. The boy with me found it quite exciting, and from then on became my partner. At first it was only small items, but after a short while this outstripped anything attempted whilst in Scotland. The boys name being Michael, and he was a feature in a segment of my past that was to become the present.

We also spent time with a girl called Lesley, who also lived on the same block as us. Both of these people had become my friends through different ways, Michael being from the quieter side of life, and I could relate to him on a normal level. Lesley was more an in crowd type girl, who was part of my immediate friends in the school. Both of these people knew about glue sniffing, as I given up on my theory of secrecy. Michael had tried it once without anything startling happening. Lesley had no intentions of even beginning.

My philosophy concerning all glue sniffing events were centred on the fun aspect, and taken no further. I did not hold any beliefs, one way or another as to why any of the events witnessed came about. They were just part of a time and place, although it may seem odd to the reader, it wasn't to me. Within the following months the sensations, with the use of glue were to advance in complexity. This caused a rethink to the basic understanding why, and how such matters came about. This different approach proved very important for advancement of my experiences. It being a little way off yet, first I had to face an unsettling period that was to change my life once again.

Jim had decided to take the family on holiday towards the end of the summer. Being in the army he had a two-week break that most service personal take during this period. He chose to visit Kennoway with his leave. As it was a large family we could not all fit in the car. Neville the eldest boy and I went by train unescorted. I looked forward to the trip in two ways. Firstly it was quite exciting traveling such a distance without any supervision. Living in England had been interesting, but in some ways I missed being in Scotland, therefore it would be good to see the place, and my old friends. Jim had arrived before us by a good two hours. On the first night I did not go anywhere, due to feeling tired. This being the same for all the others and we had an early night.

During the middle of that week I went in to Leven, on my own. This being for the intention of getting some glue, and visiting my old haunting grounds. The beach wasn't a practical place to go at this time, due to the holiday trade. In the same vein the old toilet proved busier than usual during that morning, with all the extra people. It would have been possible to use in that location, but not desirable. This created a little dilemma, where to go. After thinking about the problem for a while, the solution came in the shape of some derelict houses not so far away. During my times in Leven there had never been any reason for varying my two locations. In a way as with some changes of circumstances, it proved quite interesting. The building was old, but appeared in reasonable condition, because it had not been empty for so long. The entrance was through a small courtyard into a doorway, without a door. I stayed in the front room, which offered a view to the outside. This was through a broken window, and reason dictated it would be better to see anyone coming towards me, rather than being caught in the act.

On looking around the premises an old bag was found which seemed appropriate. Before coming I had forgotten to bring one with me. It seemed a bit grubby but looked as if it would do under the circumstances. Sitting in a corner on the opposite end from the window made a start. After taking effect the first visualisation became that of a woman climbing in through the window. She wore clothing, as an estimate belonged in the 1930 era. She did not seem aware of my presence. Speaking to her whilst seated brought no response. It became the first time of seeing a full sized three-dimensional person whilst using the substance. Learning from my first experience on the beach I knew it would be a pointless exercise going towards her, so sat back and studded her actions. She was quite young in appearance being smartly dressed, and seemed to be looking for something. Keeping within her half of the building never venture towards me.

I wondered what could be of interest, as that section of the room did not have anything worth a second glance. This went on for a while, and then looking out of the window she called to someone. Leaning outside the frame she picked up two young children, and brought them inside. The children at an estimate would have been aged three or four. They wore clothing belonging to equivalent period as their mother. Both looked at me whilst clinging to her, with faces that were a picture of innocence. I turned my attentions towards them, asking if they would come over and join me. The mother told them to stay with her. She did not look at me once during this period. I stood up, and in doing so noticed patches of glue on my new denim jacket, which had been stolen during a shoplifting expedition in England. This made me really annoyed, for the stain glue leaves on clothing cannot be removed. Normally I would have been more careful in my choice of bag. This time laziness prevailed, therefore a price was paid. The lining gave way at one side, due to deterioration with age, and it had slowly been dripping on to me.

My attention to the visualisation on offer became more focussed than normal. The reason being for the first time I had seen a full dimensional woman. I remember thinking of a possible sexual connection. As it turned out nothing of the sort emerged. At the point of realisation about the glue on my jacket I became really angry. This became the first occasion of loosing my temper whilst using solvents. It caused a change of emphasis, and giving up the cat and mouse game directed my attentions to those who occupied the other side of the room. Looking directly towards them my reactions caused the children to begin cowering. Walking across the room, a distance of no more than fifteen feet they all departed out of the window with uncanny speed, that would have been totally impossible under normal circumstances. Calling a halt to events returned back home.

One point to make about the using an old bag. I did not like the feel of putting something to my face in that condition. This sensation intensified after using the glue. It being an awareness that became better defined whilst inhaling, and it felt dirty. This was really noticeable, but by then too late. I do not mention it to overstate a point. The reason for an evaluation of this kind is more one of its concerns in the emotion department. I believe it's important to understand one's feelings when explaining cause, and effect. I became more in tune with these as time wore on, and they heightened significantly during such occasions towards a better understanding.

The source of the experience

Stead, William

Concepts, symbols and science items



Science Items

Activities and commonsteps



Inhaling volatiles and gases



from EROWID experience vaults