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Observations placeholder

Stead, William - part 05 - At home watching scantily clad women walking about different parts of the room

Identifier

008355

Type of Spiritual Experience

Hallucination

Number of hallucinations: 1

Background

[Erowid Warning: Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous.]

A description of the experience

The holiday seemed to pass by quickly, and during the second week I made a brief visit to Leven, for the purpose of acquire some glue. This time it involved lifting a tin, initially for use that evening out in the fields in Kennoway. On returning home I found that Jim and Pam were going out for dinner to a restaurant. This changed the conditions a little. Knowing Jimmy, he was bound to let the younger children stay up later than normal. I decide to take a chance and use it in the room. During that holiday I was sleeping in Jimmy's room along with Neville. There were two extra single beds installed, and it made the place a little cramped. After they had gone out for their meal I told Jimmy about fancying an early night. This gave me a good two hours, before anyone should disturb my planned entertainment.

Going upstairs the window was opened fully, trusting to luck in not being caught. As things turned out it wasn't much of a problem, and I was not disturbed once. This proved quite fortuitous, as it happened to be by far the best use of glue ever experienced. It wasn't dark as yet, but the light was switched on to save any inconvenience. My bed was furthest from the door, and the furniture had been moved around, blocking part of my total view of the surroundings. The wallpaper directly in front now became as the screen, in the toilets. The one advantage over my normal limitations was an expansion in size covering the whole area of that room. It could be described as a sort of three-dimensional viewing gallery, within the parameters of a given space. The evening's entertainment came mainly from in front, though very few areas were unused. It started by showing scantily clad women walking about different parts of the room.

Lying in my bed it was quite something to behold. I did not attempt to physically interact with the subjects, because experience had taught the futility of such gestures, more the pity. The first serious of figures were scaled down models of the real thing, and they kept out of arms reach. Being in bed proved the ideal place to watch this from. If there is one subject guaranteed to get my whole attention, it's sex. Thinking back to the sequence of events in more detail, the whole evening session became based on sexual manipulation. That in its self-proved unusual, and as a method of presentation, a potent tool. After the tone had been set, there appeared in the wallpaper another female who looked at me in a suggestive manor. This one appeared more lifelike than her predecessors did. It was however still a cartoon figure. The wallpaper being of a light colour in this new state of perception it had depth to its two dimensional configuration. At the time I never looked on this with any interest, as sexual thoughts were my main desire. The girl started running towards my direction from a depth within the wall. I looked on with eager anticipation, hoping she would come to me. Approaching the dividing line that separated my physical environment, from this other. She was prevented in leaving by an octopus like tentacle that grabbed her around the waist.

This became a personal disaster. I imagine the expression on my face would have been the same as some child who's just had its favourite toy taken away. My reaction to this, I believe was of the highest importance. Never before had I directly interacted with my visions, but then the incentives had not been this high. To put it another way, the carrot was placed in front of the donkey, and it did the trick. With my mind I mentally grabbed hold of the girl and dragged her towards me. This appeared to work, that is until the tentacle pulled back. We became enveloped in a tug of war situation, and it developed into a form of stalemate. My next action was more profound. I mentally directed thoughts towards the tentacle, and cut if off. This proved successful as the limb fell from her waist, and she smiled in a way that offered a thousand fantasies in one alluring expression. Walking towards me, slowly I believed all my birthdays, and Christmases had come at once.

Life seldom produces such easy conquests, and my alternate existence it did not give up this ethic without a fight, and put another tentacle around her. I cut it off, and repeated the action more times than any beast of its nature should have. I did not know what to do any more, and lost the total commitment which had consumed my being, just a short while ago. In lessening these attentions it caused me to notice other things happening in the room. In the time it took to look at these, the object in front did not have the same importance. I gave up on it as a lost cause.

As mentioned the whole evening was directed towards sex. A funny incident happened shortly after, concerned a French maid caricature. She was relatively small, and dusted around my bed. The counterpane had become slightly ruffled in certain places, and this created a gap between it and the rest of my bedclothes. In a brief instant she appeared to enter one of these spaces. It was so quick, that at first took me by surprise. Pulling the blanket to one side and looking around in the hope of finding her proved rather elusive. The wallpaper continued being an interesting feature all night, as it constantly offered something new. This took place in other areas of the surroundings, as my attentions where focussed on that directly in my line of vision.

A good example being a particular incident which distracted one train of thought. In the right hand corner of the room, I began to hear singing that was unmistakably female. My view of this side happened to be blocked by a wardrobe, placed in such a way to facilitate the extra beds. As it continued curiosity forced me out of bed, to see whom it was coming from. The effort proved certainly worthwhile. That which appeared in the line of vision was by far, the most attractive proposition of the night. It being a woman dressed in a showgirl's outfit that stood in a pose that took my breath away. The size was scaled down, but it made no difference to her captivating abilities. My attraction to this effigy was the strongest of the night, and there did not appear any way to attract her towards me. By then at least two hours had passed, and its duration would have exceeded any previous sessions. Glue like alcohol has a tolerance level, although circumstances could have allowed me to carry on, it involved pushing my luck. The most important factor of these increased the risk of detection. By creating a little time in removing any trace of the fumes, it would have rounded of a perfect night. By then darkness had fallen, and before switching off the light my tin was closed, then along with the bag it was hidden under the bed.

I walked over to the light and turned it off. What happened next took me completely by surprise. Instead of seeing darkness in the room, it became a myriad of coloured shapes. For a few seconds my bearings were lost, and only through feeling around were it possible to gain a perspective of my location. The first object that gave a semblance of normality was Jimmy's bed. After steadying myself it took a few seconds for my eyes to accustom themselves with the normal darkness of the room. Intermingled within this these colours were still in place, an irregular block similar to crazy paving. I edged myself along the line of beds and lay down frontward, with my face covered by the pillow. In the darkness of the mind's eye I expected normality to return. This concept proved far from being the case.
The shapes and colours that offered partiality visibility now appeared in their fullest extent. I was in some sort of tunnel, which consisted of many colours, and they appeared similar to neon, only purer. These conditions under normal circumstances would have effected my vision, but it became apparent shortly afterwards normal sight had nothing to with it. My initial recognition only lasted a few seconds, because whatever function in my body witnessed this began to move. The simplest description would be to say, an area of my consciousness occupied a space hither to unknown, and travelled within it. At first the take of speed was slow, but within a short space of time it built up, and reached a constant. There were no sensations of travelling at high speed, such as wind resistance, or any physical reaction, but I certainly was there. At its peak the colours became blurred, then faded away as the potency of the glue left my mind, and normal darkness returned. The whole event could not have lasted very long, because the residual experiences of the fumes will only continue for around a minute at maximum, after inhalation ceases.

This occasion had been of the highest importance, although its relevance wasn't grasped, as perhaps it should have been. By increased my capabilities through mentally altering this environment. On the night it became simply a matter of wanting the girl, with sex as an incentive. The tunnel of coloured lights were in fact the beginning of another journey to be to make at a later stage, for its end had not been reached. Unwittingly I had attained another level, in terms of experience. This was to be made clear, in the not too distant future.

 

The source of the experience

Stead, William

Concepts, symbols and science items

Concepts

Symbols

Science Items

Activities and commonsteps

Activities

Overloads

Inhaling volatiles and gases

Commonsteps

References