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Making love

Category: Actions

Type

Voluntary

Introduction and description

I had great difficulty deciding whether making love was an overload technique or a suppression technique until I eventually realised that making love can be classified as suppression, but if it becomes an overload technique one has created Lust and Obsession!

In The model we can see that one major input that we cannot control is that from the autonomic systems – that of the sexual impulse.  I have given the option of 'Cut out sex' as one possible technique that relies on suppression, but for the vast majority of people 'chastity' is neither feasible nor desirable.  Worse, it can lead to Repression which is hugely destructive and can be counter productive.

So instead of fighting the body and the natural impulses you need to harness them and one way is to make love – but to make love in a quite different way from the way one normally does.

I have provided more than one technique for making love on the website because all appear to work very effectively.  In a separate section I have described how you make love without orgasm, for example, this section is about making love where both partners have an orgasm. 

All are capable of producing a spiritual experience, but the spiritual experience obtained via love making without orgasm is quite different and can be prolonged.

This activity is not without its dangers, something I will be exploring at the end of the description.

Background

The types of experience one can have with this activity differ according to the stage of love making.

During 'foreplay' - the actual art of making love itself there is overload of an extreme nature.  Emotions are extremely high, and the nervous system [at least some parts of it!] is stretched to capacity.  The 5 senses, especially that of touch may be completely overloaded.  The other senses may be overloaded or subdued depending on what we do!  I have found observations for visions, hallucinations and out of body experiences for this stage.  To a large extent the sympathetic nervous system is being stretched to its very limit.

After orgasm - Then there is the orgasm and the aftermath.  And here I found some very interesting observations.  We all know we get bliss and peace from the results of an orgasm, but there are papers on PubMed from researchers who have found there to be healing effects from the after effects, lower blood pressure, less stress and better health overall.  It appears that this is all due to the invocation of the parasympathetic nervous system.  We are flooded with 'good' neurotransmitters adrenosine, dopamine, endorphins, and so on.

And this state can then result in all the classic experiences of the suppression state - wisdom, inspiration, healing and intuition. Goethe was not a genius during his numerous bouts of love making, he was a genius afterwards, which is classically what happens.  Not many people have ever had a moment of wisdom about the functions of the universe, or the idea for a symphony or poem during making love, but a very large number have had such ideas afterwards.

So an interesting activity!

Method

This is not sex.

This does not work if you are ‘having sex’.  What you have to feel is unconditional love for your partner.

Ironically it seems to work the best when the person is your lover and not your married or day to day partner and this is because living together and raising children and trying to manage houses and work puts a terrible strain on relationships.  For this you need a friend not a lover. 

But a lover is just someone you love heart and soul, to your very roots and probably not someone you would want to live with, just someone you desperately want to be one with, make love to again and again and again.  The irresistible draw of [very often] opposites – the black and the white, the two halves of a coin, the part of you you didn' t realise existed.

The objective here is to prolong love making for as long as you can  - hours and not minutes!  It is possible-  using your imagination and when you are deeply in love - to make love for 5 hours even 6 hours or more and during this time there is a gradual heightening of bliss and effect.

I am not going to explain to you how to make love, if you need it explaining then the chances are you are not in love.  But there are plenty of books that describe techniques for making love.  You will never learn it from watching pornography or reading books though.

Periods of rest are interspersed with periods of arousal.  The senses must be bombarded, because the technique works principally from sensory overload but emotional calming.  The nervous senses and the 5 senses are overloaded to the point almost of pain.  The sense of touch in particular should become completely overloaded.  There is a form of befuddlement that takes place due to the constant roller coaster ride of stimulation followed by rest.

A woman is capable of multiple orgasms, as such she can carry on for as long as it takes to achieve the effect, a man needs to pace himself, although even after having had an orgasm, men can carry on making love with heightened sensitivity and endorphin release.  There are men capable of having multiple orgasms, but the time between the orgasms is longer than for the woman.

How it works

For a clickable view of the Model with its definitions  see The Model of spiritual experience.

For a general generic description of how spiritual experience works see 'How to get to heaven'.

So how does making love work to give you an experience?  All the senses are stimulated every single one and what they cry out in unison is JOY, JOY, JOY, BLISS, BLISS, BLISS, give me more PLEASURE, PLEASURE and sometimes PAIN, PAIN because after a while the senses can no longer tell which is which.  If you do not get this, then you are with the wrong person.

Furthermore, you remember nothing of the past, your memory recall function is almost totally deactivated, so there is no chattering Memory and no chattering Reason. All you remember is now and perhaps the past few hours, it is all a sea of indescribable pleasure.

We become the child in the sweet shop, it wants to gorge and gorge and gorge on all this pleasure. And the intensity of Emotion blots everything else out – absolutely everything –  Reason, logic, Desires and objectives, Obligations and Opportunities.  Nothing is left except the vast sea of emotional PLEASURE PLEASURE PLEASURE and LOVE LOVE LOVE so hard you think it will kill you. You long to be one with the person you are with, it is the ultimate desire for union.

And the Will is overwhelmed. It can do nothing against such an onslaught, it has nothing in its armoury to help – no learnt function can match this barrage of joy and the Will doesn’t want to – why should it? The messages may be of a strange kind of 'Threat', but this is not a threat it really needs to do anything about, so it just gives in.

And the Composer takes over. 

It might be worth adding that way back in the 1970s Goldstein and Stoltzfus measured, using an EEG, the activity of the various parts of the brain under certain forms of stimulus – from drugs to sexual stimulus.  They found that when two people make love, there is physically an automatic left [logical, reasoning, rationality] to right [intuitive, emotional, creative] brain hemisphere switch at the peak of sexual ecstasy,  This happens in both males and females. 

Advantages

  • Complete - It would not be possible I suspect to find such a complete technique for overloading the senses as this. You need do nothing else, no combinations are needed, no need even for lengthy preparations, although a little bit of abstinence tends to heighten the effect - see  'Cut out sex'.
  • Effects are wonderful - In general making love for any prolonged time produces ‘euphoria’. Euphoria, believe it or not, is a medically recognized emotional state meaning “intense, transcendent happiness combined with an overwhelming sense of well being”. Euphoria I suppose can be looked on as a spiritual experience, but what is more profound is the feeling of ‘Divine love’ flooding down on you and the sense of oneness with your partner and with all beings. This is a true spiritual experience – but this comes only after some hours and possibly many ‘sessions’. 
    You can also get partial out of body states and visions plus a number of other quite profound effects too. One positive effect is the improved perception levels of the things around you. 
    At times it can be like a near death experience and your life flashes past you as pictures.
    It can improve creativity and intuition as well as empathy towards people.
  • It is pleasurable and harms no one
  • It works
  • It is legal
  • It is free, it is natural and uses or own body chemicals.
  • It has a number of proven health benefits. Professor Stuart Brody of the University of Paisley, for example, published a study showing that sex can lower blood pressure. According to Professor Brody.
    We’re not just talking about the immediate effects of having had nice sex. The beneficial effects could last a week’
    And according to one article
    “scientists are now beginning to understand that the perceived feel good effects of sex are merely the tip of the iceberg. Sex, they are discovering, can help protect you from depression, colds, heart disease and even cancer.”
    Dr Kevin Wylie consultant andrologist at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield has also stated that:
    Making love might make you look younger, as you are more relaxed, satisfied and less stressed. Sex has huge mental benefits. It’s the outward proof that you are wanted, desired and valued. If you feel sexy, you tend to look it too. Touch …has been shown to reduce stress and profound post coital relaxation can improve sleep quality.
    Endorphins are released during love making and resemble the opiates in their abilities to produce analgesia and a feeling of well-being. The behavioural effects of endorphin during orgasm are exerted by its actions in the brain and spinal cord. Thus during prolonged love making, many of the nervous sensations [pain, etc] are stilled.

Disadvantages

All the disadvantages of making love result from OVERDOSE and thus are more correctly placed under the heading of OBSESSION, but I will place them here as a warning.

  • Knocks your brain out if you overdose - On a long term basis, if you over dose it can heighten emotion permanently and reduce reasoning power also permanently. 
  • Overdosing is equivalent to addiction - Endorphins ("endogenous morphine") are endogenous opioid peptides that function as neurotransmitters.   They are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus during orgasm. In addition to endorphins dopamine is also released. 
    Endorphins and dopamine can be addictive.
    Thus there is the real danger that you will become an addict and always be wanting another ‘hit’.   If you have really made love to a point of over-dose levels, you are not dissimilar to an opium addict.  
  • Forced or sudden withdrawal can be unbearable - If you stop making love at this level for whatever reason you suffer symptoms not unlike that of opiate withdrawal and they can be truly terrible.  The following list is genuine – take it seriously:
    • muscle cramps, muscle twitches and spasms, aching muscles, aching bones, severe pains in the bones and muscles of the back and extremities,
    • dreadful fatigue, yawning
    • perspiration and profuse sweating, hot flashes, flushing  and then chills or cold flashes. 
    • excessive uncontrollable crying and runny nose
    • dilated pupils (midriasis), floaters, difficulty seeing
    • appetite loss with considerable subsequent weight loss, after some time there can be  problems with weight control in either direction
    • elevation of blood pressure, hypertension, tachycardia (elevated pulse).  In acute cases, both systolic and diastolic blood pressure increases and heart rate increases, which has the potential to cause a heart attack, blood clot, or stroke. It is possible to die of a broken heart
    • insomnia
    • nausea and  vomiting
    • involuntary ejaculation, which is often painful
    • increased sensitivity to pain – this can be really dreadful, even the slightest wound can be agonisingly painful and anything more serious can be almost unbearable

In time the withdrawal symptoms may disappear, may…… but the craving won’t.  The craving never really goes.  Once you’ve been to heaven, you always want to go back.

Sea water

Making love with you
Is like drinking sea water.
The more I drink
The thirstier I become,
Until nothing can satisfy my thirst
But to drink the entire sea.

  • The effects don’t last long - Once we have had an orgasm the body releases a chemical called prolactin.  This depresses the dopamine levels in our system, inhibits the testosterone levels, reduces oestrogen levels and generally gets us back down onto a level playing field again.  It is a sort of sexual ‘downer’ .  Once it has kicked in, anxiety levels get back to normal and we are again in flight or fight mode ready for anything.  The bliss goes, the sense of peace, and men temporarily become impotent.  Endorphin is the ‘upper’, prolactin is the ‘downer’.
  • Can create obsession, jealousy and lust as opposed to love - The extreme emotion generated during love making can result in the activity becoming an obsession.  People with an addictive nature will long for it until they become slightly crazy. 
  • You are very vulnerable – you must know your partner and trust them implicitly and I repeat you need to really be able to trust your partner.  You become quite child like and vulnerable during this form of love making and capable of being influenced considerably, so choose your partner very very carefully.  One hour of love making has little effect, but several hours can be extremely effective at reducing your function of reason to the point where you are open to all sorts of ‘brain washing’. 
  • Love making of this type is a rare thing.  Lots of people – billions have sex and they are quite happy with having sex, but this is not having sex, this is really making love, it’s the union of souls, the ecstasy of giving up – a sort of total non ego trip.
  • There are not that many people able to do it.  The following is crudely put but true

Dr Timothy Leary – High Priest
The essence of ecstasy …. and the essence of orgasm – and they are pretty much the same – is that you give up power and swing with it.  And the cats who can't do that, end up with the power and they use it to punish the innocent and the happy.  And they'll try to make us look bad and feel bad.

Our society in the west is ego driven.  And ego and this form of love making are totally mutually incompatible. 

B K S Iyengar – Light on Life
The ego seeks power because it seeks self perpetuation; it seeks it at all costs to avoid its own inevitable demise.
But what has ego done to procreation, to the harmonious union of complementary opposites?
It has twisted it into an act of egoic self-affirmation.  Lust is self-validation through consumption.
Control through the exercise of power.
When the emergence of human ego came into the word, it altered the act of procreation.  It converted it to an existential proof of being through an act of consumption, not consummation.

References and further reading

For what happens when love is withdrawn see Unrequited love.

For the next stage once you have mastered this see Sex Magick.

I used to go out with a girl that had the whole of the London A-Z tattooed on her shoulder and back.
I always knew where I was with her!

Observations

I have provided quite a number of examples to show that when true love is in operation the effects are very very special.

Related observations