Whiteman, J H M relives being a 16 year old girl
Type of Spiritual Experience
Whiteman had an obsession at the time he wrote these experiences with wanting to become feminine - of finding his feminine - and thus interpreted every experience as some indication of the feminine within him. Thus the experiences are not cleanly written and i have had to remove all the subjective stuff from the description.
He appears to be reliving here a time when he was a girl frightened of her mother.
The alternative would be possession, but I don't think it is that as he had no real sense of separation.
A description of the experience
The Mystical Life – J H M Whiteman
(April 1933) I …found myself standing beside the bed, the room appearing to be exactly like the physical bedroom, in a fairly bright morning light. I did not reflect on the clothes I was wearing, but was under the impression that I was in pyjamas. Nevertheless I knew at once, from the disposition of my mind in its state of release and from various general impressions, that I was in a … feminine form.
A few seconds after I had noted these facts and become settled, my mother entered the room….She walked towards the far part of the room, ……. She obtained what she apparently came to fetch, and went back through the door without looking at me; her face, which I was watching all the time, looked rather abstracted. When she had gone out, I looked at the bed and saw, with a clarity as in the physical world and even more vividly, the upper sheet and blankets turned neatly back, leaving the lower sheet smooth…………..
My attention was then drawn to the mirror of the dressing-table alongside the bed, and I caught a glimpse of my face in reflection as I turned to look. The impression was of shortish fair hair, cheeks pale, and a rather scared look in the eyes; my age seemed to be about 16. The features of my face in reflection (which I can still remember quite clearly) bore no evident resemblance to those of my [current] physical body, but they seemed to be genuinely mine......
The [experience] then ended.