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The first change that was noticeable was that she 'lost her mind' – not went mad, but started to lose her reasoning power and her memory, her precious ability to 'think straight', which is exactly how attrition is intended to work

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
I asked him the meaning of what was happening.
'Sometimes your mind is made to work at only 50% capacity, sometimes at 25% and sometimes it stops working altogether'
What happens if it does not work at all I wondered; where does it vanish to?
'I was so proud of my learning, but when I stand in front of thee, oh my guru, my mind is blank; I have forgotten everything' goes the text of one of the Persian couplets.
Well it could be my case.
I was thinking only this morning that I seldom remember anything of my past; never think of it.  Thinking has become such a laborious job.  Where are my qualifications?  Travels I have done, knowledge which I have accumulated during so many years?
Gone!
Seem never to have existed

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
Mind not working, feeling giddy, all around is maya.  Told him that I cannot be a good advertisement for him, for I cannot even walk.  This morning I was walking zig zag like a drunkard.  He gave me a kindly smile, fingering his mala

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
A deep seated rebellion fills the mind.  Only this time it mattered less than usual.  The mind was in such a state, there was so little left of it.  No trouble at all to keep it still; it was automatically blank.  I just sat there.  The thoughts, if any happened to float in, were drifting slowly, lazily, passing by as if on a screen, and then all was blankness once more.  This state was not new to me; it had begun to come on periodically for the last few months; increasing gradually in intensity each time it happened.

She also found that her 5 senses started to malfunction, a form of sensory deprivation that required no action on her part..........

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
Told him my senses seemed to be working in an unusual way – as if they are not able to record impressions properly.  'Is it bad?'
'No, very good... it means that you will make a jump forwards ….'

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
Without the slightest indication that it may be coming, I was flooded with a powerful sexual desire.  It was just the desire, for no object in particular, just the desire, per se, uncontrollable, a kind of wild, cosmic force... I sat there helpless, shaking with fear.  Good heavens what was happening?.  Tried to listen, to feel from where this vibration came, where it was exactly.  Then I knew, it was at the base of my spine, just above the anus.  I could feel it there distinctly.  I went ice cold with terror.

Irina explains it in terms of chakras and her belief at the time that her guru was somehow activating chakras, but he wasn't, as he said himself.  She was doing all this by herself

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
The most terrifying night of my life began.  Never, not even in its younger days had this body known anything even faintly comparable or similar to this!  This was not just desire; it was madness in its lowest, animal form; a paroxysm of sex craving.  A wild howling of everything female in me, for a male.  The whole body was sex ONLY; every cell, every particle, was shouting for it; even the skin, the hands, the nails, every atom.  Waves of wild goose flesh ran over my whole body making all the hair stand stiff, as if filled with electricity.  The sensation was painful, but the inexplicable thing was that the idea of intercourse did not even occur to me.... the body was shaking, I was biting the pillow so as not to howl like a wild animal.  I was beside myself; the craziest, the maddest thing one could imagine, so sudden, so violent.

In the following observation, we need to think about meridians and nadis.  The meridians are to be found going from the feet all the way up the body .  There are numerous points on the feet that have access to other organs.  The left foot is connected to the meridian that goes through the heart...... 

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
'There is a reason' he said quickly 'everything has a reason.  Sometimes there is an increase of sex feeling, sometimes the mind is affected, sometimes something else'.  I said that the vibration is a kind of handmaiden who does the cleaning work; a kind of purifying process.  If it is in the heart, the heart goes wild; if it is in the throat, there is a sense of choking or suffocation; if it is at the base of the spine, there is a sensation of heat; but I could not understand it being in the feet.  He smiled, with half closed eyes.  'I never cover my feet' he said; and closed his eyes.  For half an hour we sat in silence.  There was the most perfect peace.  And I reflected how the situation had changed for me; before I would have wanted to say this or that to him, to question him, or perhaps wondered why he did not speak.  Now....  The vibration continues in the soles of my feet, and somewhat stronger in the left foot.  It is going on softly and I have to sleep with my feet uncovered, so hot they are even though the night is very cool.   What could it be?  There are small chakras at the soles of the feet, as there are in the middle of the palms of the hand.  But why should the vibration go there?  What purpose.

As the changes progress, if progress is the right word, you can be quite ill.  Interestingly enough, her guru appeared to be evolving at the same time as she was and he was really ill, this is his explanation............

The Chasm of Fire – Irina Tweedie
It is because of the vibrations, they become so strong that the body cannot bear it.  At a certain stage of development, the body is ill continuously.  This is a secret people do not know.  They think the more perfect one is, the healthier one becomes.  It is so at the beginning; but not at later stages.  We must not forget we have an ordinary body meant to serve us in this world.  When we are on the Path at first, we are still able to take care of the body and the mind; but later, body and mind are left behind as quite unimportant