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Observations placeholder

The Kama sutra – 14 What turns a woman off a man



Type of Spiritual Experience


A description of the experience

The Kama sutra – 14 What turns a woman off a man

The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are as follows:

Affection for her husband
Desire of lawful progeny
Want of opportunity
Anger at being addressed by the man too familiarly
Difference in rank of life
Want of certainty on account of the man being devoted to travelling
Thinking that the man may be attached to some other person
Fear of the man's not keeping his intentions secret
Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too great a regard for them
The apprehension that he is not in earnest
Bashfulness on account of his being an illustrious man
Fear on account of his being powerful, or possessed of too impetuous passion
Bashfulness on account of his being too clever
The thought of having once lived with him on friendly terms only
Contempt of his want of knowledge of the world
Distrust of his low character
Disgust at his want of perception of her love for him
The thought that he is a hare man [small penis], or a man of weak passion
Compassion lest anything should befall him on account of his passion
Despair at her own imperfections
Fear of discovery
Disillusion at seeing his shabby appearance
Fear that he may be employed by her husband to test her chastity
The thought that he has too much regard for morality

Whichever of the above causes a man may detect, he should endeavour to remove it from the very beginning. Thus, the bashfulness that may arise from his greatness or his ability, he should remove by showing his great love and affection for her. The difficulty of the want of opportunity, or of his inaccessibility, he should remove by showing her some easy way of access. The excessive respect entertained by the woman for him should be removed by making himself very familiar. The difficulties that arise from his being thought a low character he should remove by showing his valour and his wisdom; those that come from neglect by extra attention; and those that arise from fear by giving her proper encouragement.

The source of the experience

The Kama Sutra of Vatsayana

Concepts, symbols and science items



Science Items

Activities and commonsteps



Making love