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The Kama sutra – 12 Winning her over

NOW when the girl begins to show her love by outward signs and motions, ….. the lover should try to gain her over entirely by various ways and means, such as the following:

When engaged with her in any game or sport he should intentionally hold her hand.
He should practise upon her the various kinds of embraces.
When engaged in water sports, he should dive at a distance from her, and come up close to her.
He should show an increased liking for the new foliage of trees and such like things.
He should describe to her the pangs he suffers on her account.
At parties and assemblies he should sit near her, and touch her under some pretence or other, and having placed his foot upon hers, he should slowly touch each of her toes, and press the ends of the nails; if successful in this, he should get hold of her foot with his hand and repeat the same thing.
He should also press a finger of her hand … whenever he gives anything to her or takes anything from her, he should show her by his manner and look how much he loves her.
When alone with her in a lonely place, or in darkness, he should make love to her, and tell her the true state of his mind without distressing her in any way.
Whenever he sits with her on the same seat or bed he should say to her, 'I have something to tell you in private', and then, when she comes to hear it in a quiet place, he should express his love to her more by manner and signs than by words.
After this, when she begins coming to see him frequently, he should carry on long  conversations with her, for, says Ghotakamukha, 'though a man loves a girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking'.

At last, when he knows the state of her feelings by her outward manner and conduct towards him at religious ceremonies, marriage ceremonies, fairs, festivals, theatres, public assemblies, and such like occasions, he should begin to enjoy her when she is alone, for Vatsyayana lays it down, that women, when resorted to at proper times and in proper places, do not turn away from their lovers.