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I Didn't Know Why It Happened - Inhalants: Cleaning Solvent by John EROWID

[Erowid Warning: Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous.]

I`ve heard of getting high on solvents, most of the people in my school do it, but they huff on correction fluid and glue, which is nothing compared to pure cleaning solvent. So one night i stumbled upon this cleaning solvent and decided to try it. I made a device to inhale it from. It was a empty can of pringles (u know the crisps)with a hole the width of a pen low down close to the bottom. So i took the lid of it and sprayed in some solvent, and started to inhale, the device enabled me to breathe in a mixture of solvent and air. The high was like an alcohol buzz but it came on in your first hit and in a rush type feeling. It left u feeling warm, it also made me see little dots all over my vision. There wasn't much euphoria from the buzz though.

I formed a liking to the solvent high and started to do it three times a day, every day. This went on for three months, i was feeling very depressed due to all this huffing. But one night i was having a huff of the solvent, but i decided to really huff hard, i was higher than i had ever been before and the euphoria was really brilliant this time. But i started to see things, like bright spirials and zigzags. When the high wore off i became very different, i was depressed but the worst was still to come, suddenly something clicked i became deluded, i though that everyone was planing to kill me and that i am just a goverment experiment, i mean i thought the whole world was coming to get me.

After a few days of this, i decided to tell someone about this and they convinced me to see a doctor. Very soon after i was diagnosed as having 'paranoid depressive psychosis' i was sent to a mental hosiptal for 2 weeks, but i finally mangaged to fight my way out again. All this time i had no idea i was mentally ill nor that it was the solvent sniffing that caused this. But i stoped the sniffing anyhow because i knew it could kill instantly. I was put on my major anti-psychotic drugs and anti-depressants and sleeping pills.

As time went on the delusions got worse, i started seeing worms and creatures on the walls and floor and even in my food. I also saw a person that i believed to be behind this whole experiment but he dissapeared into thin air. I considered killing myself many times but i am not a selfish person so i though of the harm it would cause my family. I was extremely frightened all the time, i started carrying knives around with me. And soon again i was admitted to a mental hosiptal, i was put on more drugs, i was crying all the time.

Well 2 years later i am a little better, i know now that it was the solvent that caused the problems. I am only 16 years old and i have been through all this. The solvents are seriously bad shit. I now smoke hash which i know will not harm me. And occasionally magic mushrooms. But only when i am feeling good and not when i am depressed cause it can make u feel worse. I hope others will learn from this story that solvents might not ever harm u in any way but then again it may make u take your own life.