Observations placeholder
Schiller, Lori - When the Voices laughed at her
Identifier
004149
Type of Spiritual Experience
Background
The key here is that the predominant emotion she seems to be experiencing is 'hate' and as such the search engine that is our composer has headed off to find hate.
The Voices also fed on her low self esteem. She had been rejected by her boyfriend, had gained a huge amount of weight as a result primarily of the drugs but also her diet, and she was unkempt and unattractive in comparison with the way she had been in her teens. The composer took these cues – low self esteem and translated them into words; the doctor in this case seems to make things much worse.....
I personally believe the voices came from the bodied, but I have provided links for all options
A description of the experience
From The Quiet Room – Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett
The Voices in my head were using megaphones. They called me waste, rubbish, junk, bile. 'You're nothing but a piece of shit' they screamed at me. I told Dr Rockland what they were saying. To try to tease me out of believing them, he made up an acronym for their message: I was LOWPOS, he said - A Lazy, Obese, Worthless Piece of Shit. I think he meant to make fun of the Voices, but it seemed he was making fun of me, and I felt worse and worse.
In the following, she has entered the search criteria 'they are all laughing at me'.
................When I heard the Voices yelling such terrible things, I grew afraid to make eye contact with people I was with. I was afraid they had heard the Voices and now knew the terrible secrets about me that they were revealing. What tortured me more than anything was when the Voices laughed at me. It was a kind of hysterical laughter, as if I was the target of everyone's jokes. I didn't know why they were making fun of me so viciously but I hated myself for being the sitting duck for ridicule. I became extremely self conscious in front of everyone for fear they too would nail me to a taunting cross