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The Wisdom of Near-Death Experiences – Dr Penny Sartori

The following case is from a nurse from the Philippines. Although she  originally told me about her NDE approximately ten years ago, it is only recently that she has given the full details, along with the after effects.  The NDE occurred at the age of nine when the bike she was riding was involved in a collision with a car.

The car was behind me and it clipped the end of my bike and I somersaulted backwards onto the windscreen, which smashed as my head hit it. All I could see was just . . . I didn't see stars . . . but just small lights. I could see people from one place to another but I don't know if they were real people or not. I could hear people talking but I couldn't remember who it was, but they were calling me.

When I heard people calling my name I was pain free and I thought I was floating. It was like a free feeling . . . freedom, it didn't even occur to me what was going to happen. It was . . . like fresh, it came to me that I may have been dying.

Then I 'woke up' and all I could see was light. It was a bright light straight ahead in the distance. I was trying to get near it but it seemed to be getting further away. There was a big, long, long staircase to get to the light. It was long, I was tired but I wanted to get to the light. There were shadows in the light and I wanted to get near them. It was all black, like the feeling like being in a pitch-black, blackest black cave so I just wanted to get into the light . . . I just wanted to be in the light. I felt frightened then that I couldn't get to the light.

I was running, trying to get to the light, thinking I don't want to be alone. I was so frightened I just wanted to be in the light. (As I am telling you this the hairs on my arms are standing up - I've got goose bumps just thinking about it.) I tried again to climb the stairs - they were small stairs but there were so many of them. I was tired but I persevered to get to the light. As I was about to get to the light somebody called my name.

I thought the voice was in the light and I was about to go in.

My father told me that I was dead, because in A&E all of the alarms went off. I had stopped breathing and I had had a cardiac arrest.

I woke up in the hospital and all I can remember is that I was thirsty but there was something in my mouth. I could see my dad, there were a lot of people around me. There was blood because I had a suture in my head, I had sticky things on my chest. I couldn't move. Then all I could see is my dad; the other people were unrecognizable. My dad started crying because he thought I wasn't going to breathe again. Then I was kept in the hospital for two days to monitor my head injury.

This next bit was not mentioned on previous occasions. Initially she was very reluctant to discuss this aspect as it is something she cannot understand or explain and as a result is concerned that others will consider her crazy.

Then I went home and I started dreaming of this old woman walking down the street but she's got a big, big, net bag that I am always curious about for some reason. I want to know what she's got in that bag. She’s got white hair that is tied up and wears a white dress. It's as if I am trying to peek at her through net curtains. I am frightened of her so just try to sneak a peek at her but she looks at me like she's seen me. Then she walks away and fades, then she's gone. Whenever I have those dreams of her the next day someone I know dies. This has happened since the accident and continues to this day.

For instance, shortly after the accident, a lot of people from the same family died and I dreamed of the woman before each one died.

I told my mum because they were family friends who died. It became worse because when we went to visit the family members of the people who died I could see 'other people' in the room (that no one else could see) but I don't know if they're dead or not. They were just there watching me, they were amongst the other people. They looked at me, they smiled at me but it's just blank. It’s as if they are just watchers or spirits - they just watch you. They know I saw them but they were just watching. I think they could be angels. I was young, I didn't have a clue what was happening it frightened me. I see these watchers still but I tend to block them, I've got a headache now actually just talking about it. When I block them I get a headache.

That's why I came here to Wales to get away from it all and then I meet you!

I know when a patient is dying or not. When I walk into the room, I feel heavy. I feel their suffering and when they are suffering too much I mention to the doctors that it seems that the patient has had enough and maybe it’s time to talk to the family.

I also get electrical sensitivity. In work the non-invasive blood pressure cuff will just start working for no reason, even when it's not connected to a patient. The ventilator at an empty bedside will switch itself on. I get a lot of radio static and light bulbs just explode around me - I switch it on and it just explodes. The intravenous drug pumps will be working fine all day then will start alarming for me.

Radios play up for me and computers will just switch themselves on and off when I'm around. We recently had a death when I was working and all of the electric bulbs and all the electricity went off; the backup generator took over. When the engineers came, everything just switched back on and they couldn't find out what was wrong. It was my patient who died and I knew he was going to die.

The NDE happened 31 years ago and it's still as vivid in my mind but I try to block it out. I don't want to remember it while I'm here in Wales. I've tried to forget it. I came to Wales to forget the experience and the after effects that it had on me. But then I met you and heard you speak about your research and it’s brought it all back for me so there is no escaping it!