Observations placeholder

Philipine lad just wants the voices to stop

Identifier

005033

Type of Spiritual Experience

Inter composer communication
Hallucination

Number of hallucinations: 1

Background

This if from the Hearing Voices network.  The post is exactly as it was on the site.

He is getting a rare old mixture of input from all over the place

 

A description of the experience

http://www.hearing-voices.org/hearing-voices-groups/how-groups-help/

Filipino June 18, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Hi..I’m Joaquin, 24 years of age an EMT-Nurse. I begun hearing these voices in my head almost a year already. I think it all started when I resigned from my job and made some huge mistakes during my career. I went into depression for a few months and kept thinking of my mistakes I made.

I wasn’t able to sleep well and lost my interest in everyday activities. Sleep deprivation made me paranoid and I was withdrawn that I spent less time outside of our home. Then it triggered one day that my aunt got ill and I wasn’t been able to help her because I’m depressed that time and my health has also broken down. It felt like I was useless even though I’m a medical practitioner.

I started to hear voices when I was with her in the hospital, my first thought was the nurses were gossiping about me and my aunt and went angry. When I got home I kept hearing voices that seems to be people around me criticizing me of my actions and my past mistakes that’s the time I lost control and start talking back to the voices.

I didn’t immediately went to a psychiatrist until my family decided to bring me. It was hell during those days I kept hearing people talking criticizing me on everything and kept fighting back. I’m really don’t know what’s happening that time tome nor do I know why did it happen.

I spent months at home and rarely go out and I cannot sleep because of the voices keeps ringing my ears like it was never ending and all of it was awfully negative.

I was diagnosed with Depression with psychotic features then Bipolar II and I went through therapy.

I’m so afraid of telling other people about what happen to me but a few good friends of mine comforted me and supported me. I don’t know if what I’m hearing are real or not but one thing I know that sometimes it seems to be telling the truth, motivating me though in a very negative manner.

I tried everything from healthy living to taking my medications but still the voices remain. The medications doesn’t make the voices go away it just makes me drowsy and sluggish. So I stop taking my medications and started finding ways to make these voices go away!

Still with these voices I was able to finish my EMT course and even took a year in university for my masters.

I always feel broken when I hear voices it’s very intrusive and bothersome. One of them is a woman who keeps criticizing me and a guy who acknowledges her. Sometimes they are three of them.

I’m not crazy or something it just these voices are really there and I can’t control them but I can tolerate them. Until now I still have them and I feel I cannot pursue a career, live a normal life and be happy. I want these voices to stop and I want to live a normal life like everybody else.

I’m yet to find someone who has the same experience I have and I think this site is very helpful. I hope you will have a support group here in the Philippines someday. Thanks

The source of the experience

Ordinary person

Concepts, symbols and science items

Symbols

Science Items

Activities and commonsteps

Commonsteps

Hearing voices

References