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Parker, Shelley E - My near death experience

Identifier

014512

Type of Spiritual Experience

Background

A description of the experience

Dr Peny Sartori - Case studies

I’m 39 and was diagnosed with Birkett’s Lymphoma, a type of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, in August 2009. It’s an aggressive form of cancer and I was treated with a very aggressive form of chemotherapy, which I had for 4 months (two 16 day regimes, two 7 day regimes and seven intra-thecal chemotherapy injections.).

After the treatment, I was extremely weak and am still not fully recovered. I was discharged from hospital in December 2009.

Several weeks’ later, I was watching television in the evening. I felt very ill and mentally and physically exhausted. I remember feeling I didn’t realise it was possible to feel so ill and still be alive.

I was looking at the bookshelves on my left in my bedroom and it felt as though the room went silent, despite the television being on. As I was looking at the shelves, I actually felt myself start to feel as though I was floating and began to see the bookshelves from a new angle – as though I was rising up from the bed and floating up towards the ceiling. It felt very peaceful and I felt calm, suddenly very happy, very well and healthy. It was a wonderful feeling and I remember feeling emotionally and physically healed and as though everything suddenly became perfect. This is strange and I can’t properly explain this part but I ‘felt’, rather than heard voices and, I think, possibly choral singing.

I remember suddenly being aware that I was dying and, for a split second, it really didn’t matter. The emotions were almost so overwhelmingly wonderful that I just accepted it and continued to rise. There was a feeling of being ‘at one’ with something, if that makes sense and that calm, relaxed feeling you get when you’re in the countryside and looking at a beautiful view.

Almost as soon as I became aware of the fact I was dying, however, I remember thinking I couldn’t do that to my mum because she’d been through enough. As soon as I felt this, I felt as though I’d been ‘dropped’ back onto the bed and the wonderful, peaceful, healthy feelings disappeared and I was immediately flooded back with feeling ill and weak.

I can remember feeling really upset and shocked that the positive emotions had gone and instantly wanted them to return but there was nothing I could do. I remember staring at the bookshelves in the hope that they’d come back but I’ve never felt anything like this again.

As I’ve had many prophetic dreams, I don’t think it affected me as much as it would ordinarily have done. It just added to what I’d already been shown that this isn’t ‘it’.

The source of the experience

Parker, Shelley E

Concepts, symbols and science items

Symbols

Science Items

Activities and commonsteps

Commonsteps

Hearing voices

References