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Dr Peny Sartori - Case studies

I’m 39 and was diagnosed with Birkett’s Lymphoma, a type of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, in August 2009. It’s an aggressive form of cancer and I was treated with a very aggressive form of chemotherapy, which I had for 4 months (two 16 day regimes, two 7 day regimes and seven intra-thecal chemotherapy injections.).

After the treatment, I was extremely weak and am still not fully recovered. I was discharged from hospital in December 2009.

Several weeks’ later, I was watching television in the evening. I felt very ill and mentally and physically exhausted. I remember feeling I didn’t realise it was possible to feel so ill and still be alive.

I was looking at the bookshelves on my left in my bedroom and it felt as though the room went silent, despite the television being on. As I was looking at the shelves, I actually felt myself start to feel as though I was floating and began to see the bookshelves from a new angle – as though I was rising up from the bed and floating up towards the ceiling. It felt very peaceful and I felt calm, suddenly very happy, very well and healthy. It was a wonderful feeling and I remember feeling emotionally and physically healed and as though everything suddenly became perfect. This is strange and I can’t properly explain this part but I ‘felt’, rather than heard voices and, I think, possibly choral singing.

I remember suddenly being aware that I was dying and, for a split second, it really didn’t matter. The emotions were almost so overwhelmingly wonderful that I just accepted it and continued to rise. There was a feeling of being ‘at one’ with something, if that makes sense and that calm, relaxed feeling you get when you’re in the countryside and looking at a beautiful view.

Almost as soon as I became aware of the fact I was dying, however, I remember thinking I couldn’t do that to my mum because she’d been through enough. As soon as I felt this, I felt as though I’d been ‘dropped’ back onto the bed and the wonderful, peaceful, healthy feelings disappeared and I was immediately flooded back with feeling ill and weak.

I can remember feeling really upset and shocked that the positive emotions had gone and instantly wanted them to return but there was nothing I could do. I remember staring at the bookshelves in the hope that they’d come back but I’ve never felt anything like this again.

As I’ve had many prophetic dreams, I don’t think it affected me as much as it would ordinarily have done. It just added to what I’d already been shown that this isn’t ‘it’.