Colin Wilson - Major George Sully becomes possessed
Type of Spiritual Experience
A description of the experience
Mysteries - Colin Wilson
from a letter from Major George Sully
Around the end of 1950 I had completed all but the last eighth of a novel, and the conviction had been growing on me that it was pretty terrible - well-written, but stagy and fundamentally incompetent.
As I had decided to be a writer, this did not bode well; I became understandably depressed.
I awoke one morning-or someone did - using my eyes and a complement of my consciousness. Or maybe two people awoke, using the same body - mine. They were arguing volubly with each other, and there was a feeling that the body had become awake without their noticing.
I, at all events, as the 'l' with whom one daily lives, was apparently not directly concerned, as all I now recall is that they were discussing 'him'.
There existed a state of consciousness which would normally have been single and 'mine', but either suppressed or suspended. The state was acutely horrifying and nightmarish. In a nightmare one often longs to bring the self to wakeflulness. In this state connection with the self was cut off. For some minutes at least, the body lay inertly possessed by the arguers, unable to summon up the dominating self to its rescue.
Ultimately 'l' gradually took over, but it seems that for the space of time the argument - the details at once forgotten on the emergence of self - went on, two 'alternative' personalities had taken priority over it.
They have, luckily, not once appeared since. One of them might indeed be 'me' - but I have a feeling that they were distinct from me. Are they, one wonders, voicelessly arguing still?