Exploring Inner Space – Jane Dunlap

From time to time he asked 'Anything happening?'

'Absolutely nothing'  I answered repeatedly with increasing disgust.

After another long silence, he said 'some people build up such unconscious resistance that even 400 micrograms of LSD gives them no experience'.

I felt utterly defeated, convinced that I would have no more enthralling experiences and would never again see beyond-our-world beauty.  My key to heaven had been thrown away.  Since only LSD could cause a disappointment to be so exaggerated, obviously the drug had already started to take effect.

….........

Dr Davidson opened the door 'Anything happening yet?'

I replied quickly, without the slightest doubt that I was telling the truth 'Absolutely nothing'.  It was not until the following day that I realised I had lied to him.

'Would you like to take 50 micrograms more?' he asked

'Is it safe?'

'Yes.  As much as 1500 micrograms [sic] have been given with no apparent harm'

I agreed, and he brought water and two more tiny blue tablets, making my total dose 200 micrograms.  Although it had seemed an eternity, he assured me that only one and a half hours had passed.  I expressed the desire to be alone and he again left the room.....................

The experience changed character at this point as if the additional 50 micrograms of the drug had suddenly reached my brain all at one time.  Although thoughts come with amazing rapidity and clarity when one is under LSD, the intensity of all emotions now increased to overpowering proportions. 

During the remainder of the day until 1am the following morning, ideas bombarded my brain with tremendously increased velocity, hundreds of them seeming to come at once. 

I felt constantly giddy, hopelessly confused, and literally terrified for fear I was losing  my mind. 

Repeatedly, when it seemed that my head would surely burst, I regretted having taken as  much as 200 micrograms of the drug.  These unpleasant emotions are lost in the telling, but the memory of them still causes me to cringe. 

The drug, over which I had no control, carried me into whirlpool vortexes of ever increasing magnitude, a terrifying experience ….