I was thrown into spiritual emergency, and then psychosis
Type of Spiritual Experience
A description of the experience
Dr Yvonne Kason – Farther Shores
I was a university professor in a town in the Midwestern United States. When I was in my thirties I had a profound mystical experience and decided I would do anything to have the experience again.
Both the university I taught in and the community I lived in were very traditional in their approach. At the time when I had my mystical experience, topics such as Eastern religion and meditation were considered strange. Even the practice of yoga was looked at askance. After my experience, however, I did find someone who recommended Gopi Krishna's books. I managed to obtain them and pored over them absorbing as much as I could.
I noticed that Gopi Krishna repeatedly urged moderation and balance and warned against the dangers of excessive spiritual practices. However, in my intense desire to stimulate another spiritual experience, I decided not only to not follow this advice but to even go so far as to find everything that might overstimulate kundalini and then begin to practice it.
I threw myself into intensive yoga, meditation, and Tantric practices. And I did eventually stimulate the awakening of kundalini.
My body and mind were totally unprepared for the tremendous shock to my system. I was thrown into spiritual emergency, and then psychosis. Unable to function, I lost my job. I felt as if I were on fire or burning alive. And I endured sensations of light so bright that they were excruciatingly painful. I suffered through horrific visions and the blackest pits of despair and depression.
Unfortunately I was forced to endure this suffering alone for almost three years, because I couldn't find anyone who understood what I was going through. Finally, I found a sympathetic therapist in a nearby city through the Spiritual Emergence Network. I began to practice grounding techniques and to follow the moderate approach to life and spirituality I had first read about in Gopi Krishna’s books. But even then I continued to suffer periodically for some time. Finally, after years of effort, I came close to full recovery.