Grof, Dr Stanislav - The story of Nadja
Type of Spiritual Experience
The following example is interesting because it could have been a request or a send.
Nadja may have been thinking about her mother in the LSD session and thus tapped into her mother’s perceptions – certainly her mother was unaware that her perceptions were being accessed. But there is also the possibility that her mother was thinking about her past and the childhood she had had and unwittingly constructed a message she sent to Nadja, her daughter, and because Nadja was open to receive it, she did.
If the latter is true, this is an example of an unconscious send but a conscious receive. If the former is true it is an example of a conscious request but an unconscious reply.
A description of the experience
LSD Doorway to the Numinous – Professor Stanislav Grof
Nadja a fifty year old psychologist experienced in her LSD training session a very realistic identification with her mother and relived a scene that she considered to be part of her mother’s childhood. Here is her report of the relived event:
“To my great surprise, my ego identity was suddenly changed. I was my mother at the age of three or four; it must have been 1902. I was dressed up in a starched, fussy dress and hiding underneath the staircase; my eyes were dilated like those of a frightened animal and I felt anxious and lonely. I was covering my mouth with my hand, painfully aware that something terrible had just happened. I had said something very bad, was criticised and someone roughly put their hand over my mouth. From my hideout, I could see a scene with many relatives – aunts and uncles, sitting on the porch of a frame house, in old fashioned dresses characteristic of that time. Everybody seemed to be talking, unmindful of me. I had a sense of failure and felt overwhelmed by the unrealistic demands of the adults – to be good, to behave myself, to talk properly, not to get dirty – it seemed so impossible to please them. I felt excluded, ostracised and ashamed”
Motivated by professional interest, Nadja approached her mother to obtain the necessary data about her childhood, which they had never discussed before. Reluctant to admit that she had had an LSD session, which her mother would have disapproved of; she explained to her that she had had a dream about her mother’s childhood and wanted to know if it was true.
No sooner had she started her story than her mother interrupted her and finished it in full accord with the reliving. She added many details about her childhood that logically complemented the episode experienced in the LSD session. She confessed to Nadja how ominous and strict her mother had been to her; she talked about her mother’s excessive demands regarding cleanliness and proper behaviour. …. Nadja’s mother then emphasised how lonely she had felt during her whole childhood, … and how much she craved to have playmates.
Her description of the house exactly matched Nadja’s LSD experience, including the large porch and the steps leading up to it. She also mentioned the dresses covered by starched white pinafores that were characteristic of her childhood. According to the mother’s narrative, Nadja’s grandmother used to invite many relatives for family reunions on Sundays and made food for everyone.