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Brian Keenan – Four Quarters of Light

I [talked]  with Debra about her own growing up in Alaska. She was very precise about her childhood and spoke of it with a sense of wonder. I could appreciate her connections with Lena.

'As a child, starting at two years old, I had some pretty amazing numinous visions, but when I tried to tell anyone about them they didn't know what I was talking about. My mother just laughed. When I finally realized that no-one could help explain them to me, I resigned myself to becoming a child. I didn't feel like one at the time. I shut down the visions and made an oath that when I was old enough I would return to them to find out what they meant. The visions retreated, recurring occasionally to keep me from forgetting.

'During that time, every time we drove to our house in Anchorage we had a magnificent view of Mount Susitna, the Sleepy Lady in the distance on the far side of Cook Inlet.  Somehow I came to believe that the land of the Fairy was on the other side of the mountain. I really believed it.  When I was seven we built our homestead out in the bush on a land grant scheme for incoming settlers.  We piled our gear in a boat and Joe Reddington took us across the inlet to the mouth of the Big Susitna River, which flows directly in front of the mountain. I had been so busy looking at everything along the banks that I didn't realize we were so close to the mountain.  When I finally looked up and saw her, she was at an odd angle and I got it into my head that we were passing around the mountain and entering the far side, the land of the Fairy. I was amazed and delighted because I really believed it. I believed that Joe was one of those magical people who conducted people from the regular world into the land of the Fairy. I knew not just anyone could do it, and I was in awe.

'It got better. We left the river for a small, winding creek that eventually took us into the lake, Flathorn Lake, and the most amazing moment of my life took place. Stretched out along the lake, the mountain was mirrored perfectly by the lake. It was a stunning sight, and I knew that the lake was linked magically to the mountain and we were going to live there. It was years before I realized what had happened, but what arose from that was a firm belief in magic and fairies. Because I believed the world I lived in was the land of the Fairy and magic, it was magical. It still is.

Everyone needs to realize that the world they live in is magical. A spiritual realm co-exists with our own. It acts upon ours and we can enter into it. So nature was my constant companion, and I regularly talked to the mountain about all my problems and feelings. She was my confidante. I knew she watched over me and kept me safe. I sent her lots of love and she sent a coverlet of love back to me. I regularly talked to all of nature - the lake, the plants, the bugs, the sand and dirt. It wasn't as if I saw any spirits, it was more like a communion. Everything was alive and friendly.

I never thought I could come to harm in that place because the world itself protected me. I hated to leave it.'