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Gopi Krishna  - Kundalini the Evolutionary energy in man

I was in an extraordinary state; a lustrous medium intensely alive and acutely sentient, shining day and night, permeated my whole system, racing through every part of my whole body, perfectly at home and absolutely sure of its path.  I often watched the marvellous play of this radiant force in utter bewilderment; I had no doubt that Kundalini was now fully awake in me, but there was absolutely no sign of miraculous psychic and mental powers associated with it by the ancients. 

I could not detect any change in me for the better; on the contrary, my physical condition had considerably deteriorated and my head was far from steady.  I could not read attentively or devote myself with undivided mind to any task.  Any sustained effort at concentration invariably resulted in an intensification of the abnormal condition.  The halo in my head increased enormously in size after every spell of prolonged attention, creating a further heightening of my consciousness with a corresponding increase in the sense of fear now present only occasionally, and that too, in a very mild form.

Perceiving no sign of spiritual florescence and always confronted by the erratic behaviour of an altered mind, I could not but be assailed by grave misgivings about myself after watching my condition for a few weeks.

Was this all that one could achieve after rousing the serpent fire?  I asked myself this question over and over again.  Was this all , for which countless men had risked their lives, discarded homes and families, braved the terrors of trackless forests, suffered hunger and deprivations and sat at the feet of teachers for years to know?

Was this all that yogis, saints, and mystics experienced in ecstatic trances, this extension of consciousness accompanied by unearthly lights and sounds, carrying a man momentarily into an abnormal mental state and then dashing him again to earth, without creating any extraordinary talent or quality to distinguish him from the average run of mortals?

Was this ebb and flow of a subtle radiant essence, and the resulting widening and narrowing of consciousness which I witnessed day and night, the ultimate goal to which the occult doctrines of the world pointed with confidence?

If this were all one could achieve, then surely it was far better not to delve into the supernatural, but to devote oneself with undivided attention to worldly pursuits.