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I do not know what is going on.  For the past months, in fact for seven or eight months I have been feeling quite low, as though all sorts of dreadful past deeds are coming back to haunt me and which needed to be sorted out.  Perhaps in their own weird way they have been sort of acted out in different ways, come to a sort of conclusion.

I have also been unable to paint, which has reall depressed me.  The same painting has sat on the kitchen table waiting completion for about the same time.  It shows a woman on the right of the picture in a red dress - at least she is taking off the red dress [you know me] underneath her are flowers.  To the right I kept on seeing in my head a large ominous black bird/man - a man with a hooked nose like a bird and black wings. 

I painted it in the hope of exorcising it.  No hope.  I covered it with white paint.  Back it came.  I painted it again differently, it seemed to get larger each time.  Over and over again, like it wasn't going to go away unless the process had been completed.  Nothing else was in my mind except this wretched black bird, getting larger all the time ruining what could have been a nice picture.  Eventually, I covered the whole lot with white paint and gave up.  What is perhaps rather ironinc is that some of the paint from underneath kept on leeching through - it reappeared even though I didn't want it!

Anyway, round about the time of the grand cross [a couple of weeks before] suddenly everything changed and a sort of desperate black pall was lifted.  And I could paint again.  In the place of the black bird was a woman in a wedding dress where the dress looked like wings.  I painted this and pretty soon four more painings came in quick succession. 

I was doing nothing to help this process, it just seemed to happen. 

Then disaster stuck.  Psoriasis horrible painful psoriasis at the back of my neck just below the hair line.  It bled, it swelled up, it was appalling.  So I went to the man with the MORA machine.

I told him it was a problem with the twin pillars [remembering all your TCM stuff] and he said in a serious voice 'enough of the symbolism' and then proceeded.

He let the MORA machine do its works with the diagnosis and the diagnosis was colour therapy - violet and sky blue.

And he ran the roller thing with the colours over the sore area, did me some balancing with the foot pads, gave me some of those little homeopathic pills and off I trotted, feeling, I have to say a lot better, although a bit light headed.

The next day my right hand side neck swelling was almost gone  - a miracle cure!!! - but the left side is still there but not quite as bad.  I am due to go back to have another go in a couple of weeks.

But since then I have been getting the most delicious feelings of cold energy zooting up and down my spine and entering my head.  Its like being topped up with water, it gets to just above my ears, but stops there, as though it is ebbing and flowing, back and forth.  Very nice.  I could live with this feeling on a permanent basis, it is quite special.

My dreams last night were very sexually oriented, I have no idea what that means but that wasn't bad either and it felt very real.  I won't go into details but it involved a man with a very erect and large willy, who was standing just in front of me and 'helping' me.

I can tell you this is quite a special time for me.

Whatever is in store I'm up for it [you know me].