Love is the Link – Dr Pamela Kircher

Among the many books about NDEs, this one comes from the unique perspective of a family physician who also has had a near-death experience. In addition, for four years I cared for terminally-ill patients in a hospice setting. From 1989 through 1994, I gave some fifty lectures to a variety of groups including college classes, churches, professional societies (nurses, social workers, medical students, and physicians), and facilitated an NDE, support group on a monthly basis.

What I have learned beyond a shadow of a doubt is that there is much more to existence than the things we routinely see, touch, and feel when aware of only our physical surroundings. Talking with many people over the years, I have found that most people have some events in their lives that indicate this to them, and that frequently they repress these experiences because they are beyond their understanding of how the world functions.

 

This need to suppress the memory of unusual experiences is particularly prevalent among physicians. Most are certain that they understand how the world works. Experiences like near-death experiences, Nearing-Death Awareness (NDA, such as the psychic ability, to know one's time of death, or after-death communications (ADCs) simply don't fit into their framework of understanding.

When I began to consider talking about NDEs, it was with a great deal of trepidation. I remembered mv own childhood NDE and had read a couple of books on the subject, but I did not personally know any other people who had had the experience.

The books I had read convinced me that such stories were common enough that physicians should at least be aware of the possibility of such an experience during cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

Then, in late 1988, one of my family practice patients told me of his recent NDE when he suffered anaesthetic complications during routine elective surgery. (He had been a patient of mine for several years and felt completely comfortable with me.) A very practical young engineer, he had been very puzzled when he found himself out of his body, watching the surgery, and then traveling down a tunnel toward a light. Perhaps the most surprising part was the incredible peace that he felt, although he had no belief system that would have supported such an experience.

I was able to reassure him that such experiences are quite common and also quite natural. I referred him to a couple of books on the subject, invited him to come back if he wanted to talk about it more, and sent him on his way to integrate the experience into his life. When I was asked to give a case presentation to the Family Practice residents the following month, I chose to present his case.

I felt that it would be important for these people to know that some of their patients would be having NDEs and that a receptive and informed family doctor could be enormously helpful. They were accustomed, however, to case presentations about unusual cases of renal failure, tumors, and so on at their noon conferences, so my talk would be a radical departure from the usual fare.

I prepared carefully with slides about frequency of occurrence, changes as a result of the experience, and various physiologic proposals (and why they didn't totally explain the phenomenon).  As I prepared for the talk, I shared my fears that I would be totally rejected by my colleagues with a friend who was a computer programmer at a medical school. He said that it was the toughest audience I could pick for my first talk and that, after I had given this presentation, nothing else would ever be that difficult again!

The years have indeed proved him right.  When the day arrived, I gave the slide presentation to the Family Practice residents and the faculty at the noon conference.

When the lights went on and discussion began, I was enormously relieved. Faculty began telling of times when patients had told them of NDEs, although most of them had not known what to make of it at the time. They found it very helpful to know about the statistics and the changes commonly seen in people as a result of NDEs. Because the faculty was receptive, residents were willing to think of it as a possibility.

After the talk, hospital life went on much as it had before. I didn't get the sense that people were whispering about me behind mv back, but I did get the sense that they mostly dismissed this new information; it simply didn't blend in with medicine as they knew it. For me, however, it was a watershed experience. I had had the courage to speak my truth, I hadn't died on the spot, and I knew that I would be speaking my truth more and more often as time went on.