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The grass is cut, the nets are high, the sun is shining bright
The doubles matches are to start, and everything seems right
And here’re your partners just for you, I know its two ‘gainst one
But two like that and just for you is infinitely more fun

They walk onto the court with each a racquet in their hands
Who knows when they swing those things, just where the balls will land
And when they swing those racquets wide they really are a menace
Those little girls with nothing on ‘Is anyone for tennis?’

They swing them here, they swing them there, they really swing about
They jump and wobble, wibble wobble, bare boobies both they flout
With those two girls no one much cares if there are lots of calls
Those little girls with corsets tight ‘Umpire we need new balls’

It’s 15 love, then 30 love, then 40 love, then deuce
They call for some refreshments – please tell me what’s love juice?
And each time they bend over, in an attempt to get a ball
You see love juice there a plenty, and you’re accused of a footfall

So sweet and saucy lover, come and play this game with me
We’ll have endless matches before dawn and countless before tea
And I think we both know the rules, I see it in your eyes
And every game we shall both win, and both will win a prize