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Amphetamines (Dextroamphetamine) - Anonymous EROWID [edited for brevity]

Being a student in a large public university, my college experience has been one of experimentation (name it..pretty much everything save for pcp, crack, and heroin). My first experience with stimulants came by way of a friend who successfully faked ADHD to a psychiatrist to obtain Ritalin.

Among college students this practice is in vogue, as it's not exceedingly difficult to fake a condition dependent on fidgeting and a lack of attention. Personally I don't feel I faked my condition at all - I am who I am - the doctor just gave me a label which gives me the green-light for schedule II stimulants and will inevitably increase my cost of health & life insurance down the road.

Prior to having my own prescription, I took Dexedrine once or twice a week on my 'full' study days - those in which I planned on staying in the library most of the day. Dexedrine, taken initially at doses of 15 mg with a 5-7.5 mg booster 2-3 hours in, yielded … a sense of purpose and increased drive. Not only did I feel intellectually capable of doing homework, I wanted to do it. The intial drive lasted for a few hours but eventually mellowed to a calm sense of purpose and the simple feeling of 'I can do this now while I'm medicated and it will be easier to deal with, or I can put it off and do it later - I'll choose the former'.

At higher doses, …..my personality is 'blunted' somewhat, I feel more constricted with my words and unwilling to partake in casual conversation. I feel less verbally spontaneous. I don't sing with the radio in the car as much; I just feel verbally tied down. … Tunnel vision also sets in, a feeling of being locked-on forward, focused on where you're going, unconcerned about whatever drivel was occuring in the periphery. …. It feels as if your brain is processing everything going on around you, but environmental details do not invade conscious thought unless they're particularly relevant to the task at hand.

The higher dosage range also produced increased feelings of mental and physical superiority, as clarity of thought as well as movement are enhanced. .. In the gym, I can perform more exercises at increased weight for additional reps for long periods of time without feeling fatigued. The only give-away is that I tend to heat up and sweat significantly more while exercising.

Fast-forward two years.

I now have my own prescription which provides 35 mgs per day. Tolerance to Dexedrine has developed over time to the point where 35 mgs over a day feels less strong than 25 mgs did in the early days. When I first got the prescription my usage patterns didn't change, still 1-2 days a week. Then work for finals started to ramp up and usage increased to 3-5 days per week [sic!!]. …..

As insomnia has continually been a part of the dexedrine experience, I began to go through a bottle of vodka every two weeks just to fall asleep at night. Without 4 shots, sleep only came around 4 or 5 am and consisted of a few hours of marginal sleep.

So where are we at now? Following a period of abstinence from stimulants of all kinds (including coffee), I became aware of why so many Americans are habitual stimulant addicts. Without stimulants, getting your brain to work in the morning is a pain in the ass. I generally feel tired and unmotivated. ….. I thought that after abstaining .. I would have more energy and clarity of thought - getting back to basics and just letting my body do its thing naturally. But this hasn't been the case.

I like my personality better when I'm not taking Dexedrine…., I wouldn't say I'm addicted to it, but dependence has developed. …., I would say its definetly accurate to say that the medication can produce dependency, and in that way, is addictive.