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Struggling with destructive voices

Identifier

005051

Type of spiritual experience

Background

From the Hearing Voices Network.

Voices that are intelligible and speak in sentences come from human beings, bodied or out of body. What is interesting is that 'Hannah' may not be as destructive as this person thinks. She is really trying to frighten carys enough to get her to act, but the approach she has taken is less than helpful

Flupentixol, also known as flupenthixol (former BAN), marketed under brand names such as Depixol and Fluanxol, is an antipsychotic drug. Flupentixol is not approved for use in the United States and in a sense it may well be a 'poison' for carys.

Carys did not say why she was put on these drugs in the post

A description of the experience

Struggling with destructive voices

Postby carys » Sat Jun 15, 2013 5:43 pm

i am struggling with the voices.....they are constant and telling me to do bad things
i stopped depot injections three weeks ago as one of the voices 'hannah' kept saying the injection is poison and that they wanted to inject me with a bug to keep tabs on me......i am scared so scared i believed her and told cpn i cant have it no more as its poison and she said i had to ring my social worker and let her know......i didnt ring social worker for fear the phone is bugged...if i dont know the number on my phone i wont answer it for fear its the government trying to bug my things

i got a phone call from cpn yesterday morning to say she has arranged a CPA meeting this monday at 1pm to discuss medication and stuff....i dont want to go because they are part of MI5 and wanting me to do things.....thats what the voices keep saying....'hannah' is saying if i dont hurt someone i am to kill myself otherwise MI5 will get me....i am so freaking scared....am very suicidal at the moment and dont know what else to do

I went to a meeting on tuesday just gone.....social worker, cpn and another woman
my social worker seems to think that i should be in supported housing where theres staff on site......i am in supported housing and there used to be staff on site but they made the office into a flat....but i was still seeing someone once a week and we had an oncall phone line we could ring..which i did but they went bust and theres no support now
am a bit nervous about moving out as i like it where i live but i dont like the fact that i am not getting many support

am on depixol injections every two weeks ........it doesnt work for me but they think that it does!!!!! how would they know its not their body and its not their voices thats bothering them
i dont know what else to do .....i have an event next thursday in manchester ....once thats over then i can start planning......

The source of the experience

The Hearing Voices Network

Concepts and Symbols used in the text or image

Activities