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As you know he died completely unexpectedly in bed.  He suddenly sat up gripping his chest and by the time the doctor arrived he was dead.  The shock of course was unbearable to me.  For several nights I lay in bed on my own after he had gone in our house just crying and crying.  But sometimes I could hear a noise as if someone was knocking at the bedroom door, someone trying to reach me.  I wasn’t imagining it, it was very real, a real noise, as if he was trying to knock down the door and tell me something.  Eventually it stopped, thank goodness, because all it did was frighten me.

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As you know he loved fishing and I often used to take a walk round the lake where he fished.  It was always very peaceful there, the calm water, all the trees, the birds.  I just used to walk round on my own remembering all his favourite spots, his favourite fishing spots.

There was one day, and it wasn’t cloudy or anything, really quite bright and cheerful actually, and I was walking round thinking about him and I came to one of his favourite spots and I saw him there.

It was him, he looked so real, he was fishing and standing in the water – you know as you do when you fly fish – and sending the line out,  back and forth,  back and forth, I called out to him – I don’t know why because he had been dead several weeks, but he didn’t look round or even acknowledge I was there, and then I probably blinked or something – I think I may have been crying – and he was gone, he just disappeared.

But it was him you know, definitely him.  Perhaps he came down from heaven to see me, to let me know he was all right and fishing in heaven.