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Margot Grey – Return from Death

In February 1976, while travelling through India, I was struck down by a strange illness which was never conclusively diagnosed. During the three week period that it lasted I hovered on the brink of death, while my temperature soared to 105 degrees.

At some point during the process of passing in and out of consciousness I became aware that if I somehow urged myself I could rise up out of my body and remain in a state of levitation up against the ceiling in a corner of the room.

At the time, this seemed entirely natural and felt very pleasant and extremely freeing. I remember looking down at my body lying on the bed and feeling completely unperturbed by the fact that it seemed likely that I was going to die in a strange country, half a world away from home, family and friends, and thinking it was really totally unimportant where I left my body, which I felt had served me well and like a favourite but worn out coat had at last outlived its usefulness and would now have to be discarded.

At one point during the early part of the illness I remember finding myself floating in total darkness in what seemed to be outer space. It was like being in or part of absolutely nothing. I recall thinking 'So this is what happens when one dies, it's just absolute nothingness, just black limitless space' and yet I was not afraid of it nor did I feel lonely. I was conscious of my own identity and aware of my aloneness, yet at the same time I found myself to be 'one' with infinite space; I seemed to be part of it and it was part of me.

Later on, I seemed to be travelling down an endless tunnel. I could see a pin point of light at the end of the tunnel towards which I seemed to be moving and which was gradually drawing nearer. I remember knowing with absolute certainty that I would eventually be through the tunnel and would emerge into the light, which was like the light of a very bright star but much more brilliant. A sense of exultation was accompanied by a feeling of being very close to the 'source' of life and love, which seemed to be one. I felt embraced by such feelings of bliss, that there are no words to describe the feeling. The nearest I can come to it in human terms is to recall the rapture of being 'in love', the emotion one feels when one's first born is put into one's arms for the first time, the transcendence of spirit that can sometimes occur when one is at a concert of classical music, the peace and grandeur of mountains, forests and lakes or other beauties of nature that can move one to tears of joy. Unite all these together and magnify a thousand times and you get a glimpse of the state of being that one is in when the restriction to one's 'true heritage' is partially removed.

I think this is what the injunction 'Be ye perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect' must mean